Week 2: sacrifice (0-1) vs. Objective (0-1) \\ sacrifice wins 6-5

Zen · 03-09-2014, 09:44 PM

Objective: I usually enjoy your writing but this to me seemed to be a little stale. The different lengths of each line also threw off the flow for me as I was reading it. Also, this verse seemed uninspired. I know you can do better than this.

Sacrifice: This was very interesting. Your writing carried along a unique idea nicely. Excellent use of multi's that allowed to be told instead of rhyming to rhyme which is what I do. Like a bawse.

V/Sacrifice

03-09-2014, 09:44 PM	#1
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	Objective: I usually enjoy your writing but this to me seemed to be a little stale. The different lengths of each line also threw off the flow for me as I was reading it. Also, this verse seemed uninspired. I know you can do better than this. Sacrifice: This was very interesting. Your writing carried along a unique idea nicely. Excellent use of multi's that allowed to be told instead of rhyming to rhyme which is what I do. Like a bawse. V/Sacrifice