Week 2: Mike Wrecka (1-0) vs. Vividlyvague (1-0) \\ Vividlyvague wins 6-5

timeless · 03-08-2014, 12:27 PM

VV, didn’t enjoy this piece too much. Dialogue is for the most part, rather difficult to construct in verses, and I feel as though you fell off with it here like most do. You went from 1st person narrative to 3rd and left me confused quite a bit as to who was actually talking to who. Flow was way off, even after a couple of reads I still couldn’t connect to it aside from a bar or two. In relations to the topic, you came strong, and I dug the idea that you had, but it just didn’t appeal to me on a technical note.

MW, Just like VV’s verse, I didn’t really feel this one either man. The concept you chose to take on with the topic was dope, but I don’t think you gave it your full potential. The writing seemed rushed, which is odd for its length. Maybe not so much the writing but just how your story panned out.

I feel like if I explained anymore of MW’s verse, I would just be duplicating what I said about VV, so I’m not going to waste anymore time. Both pieces were equally enjoyable(imo, they were not.) Both verses as well had a dope concept but failed to execute a gripping story with it. The only one who I could say had an upper hand was Mike Wrecka with the flow/rhyme schemes/overall wordplay but still I’m going to vote on this based on the lines I felt were written the best, quotables if you must…

VividlyVague
” His mood a loose screw when the workbench is clear.”
” Moping, he grabbed the results notice, with a gulping throat.”

Mike Wrecka
” the pain of every day is a renewable source,”
” as I dwell in darkness forever facing the shade”

Ah fuck it, giving this to mike for having more of a sound verse.

V. Mike Wrecka

03-08-2014, 12:27 PM	#4
timeless past tense Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: NJ Posts: 1,623 Battle Record: 22-39 Rep Power: 4341329	VV, didn’t enjoy this piece too much. Dialogue is for the most part, rather difficult to construct in verses, and I feel as though you fell off with it here like most do. You went from 1st person narrative to 3rd and left me confused quite a bit as to who was actually talking to who. Flow was way off, even after a couple of reads I still couldn’t connect to it aside from a bar or two. In relations to the topic, you came strong, and I dug the idea that you had, but it just didn’t appeal to me on a technical note. MW, Just like VV’s verse, I didn’t really feel this one either man. The concept you chose to take on with the topic was dope, but I don’t think you gave it your full potential. The writing seemed rushed, which is odd for its length. Maybe not so much the writing but just how your story panned out. I feel like if I explained anymore of MW’s verse, I would just be duplicating what I said about VV, so I’m not going to waste anymore time. Both pieces were equally enjoyable(imo, they were not.) Both verses as well had a dope concept but failed to execute a gripping story with it. The only one who I could say had an upper hand was Mike Wrecka with the flow/rhyme schemes/overall wordplay but still I’m going to vote on this based on the lines I felt were written the best, quotables if you must… VividlyVague ” His mood a loose screw when the workbench is clear.” ” Moping, he grabbed the results notice, with a gulping throat.” Mike Wrecka ” the pain of every day is a renewable source,” ” as I dwell in darkness forever facing the shade” Ah fuck it, giving this to mike for having more of a sound verse. V. Mike Wrecka