***PINK SLIP BATTLE (topical)*** fresh vs. Diode - DIODE WINS 5-2

PancakeBrah · 03-06-2014, 11:10 PM

Diode -

I'll be honest, my preconception of your strong record in the AOWL is that of someone who got over. Maybe that's just me not emphasizing your verses in my memory due to your style not being my type. I don't think I've ever voted against you. Maybe I have. But anyways, you had some serious nuance here. And that's what separates a textcee from a writer, in my mind. You built a character, which is my favorite thing, subtly. And your rhymes were a bit more intricate than my preconceptions usually give you credit for. It's not the technical-route I would have gone (I love complex rhymes and schemes) but your approach was top tier. I think your restraint in terms of rhyming is on purpose; you avoid overloading on technical ability and instead focus on wording. Your wording inbetween rhymes, a weak point of mine, is very strong and carries the heart of your verse. I also liked your topic, it acted as an ironic 'twist', the opposite of what the reader expected.

Fresh -

"People soaked her story up like a towel, so she gave it a twist"

That is a fucking awesome line.

If you had kept up the pace and rhythm you set in the first two sections throughout the piece you would have won. You obviously know what you're doing. Your overall approach wasn't even close in terms of nuance to Diodes. But your wording (which was very strong) made me flip flop on my decision. I think if you had approached this topic better, conceptually, you could have ran away with this. You had highlights.

I honestly hope Diode offers Fresh the same reprieve Fresh offered him in DLB's sway topic; a signature and avy line adjustment saying he's Diode's "bitch" or whatever. I think Diode won but I want to read more from Fresh because he's honestly a talented writer. Very interesting read from both.

v/Diode

03-06-2014, 11:10 PM	#9
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	Diode - I'll be honest, my preconception of your strong record in the AOWL is that of someone who got over. Maybe that's just me not emphasizing your verses in my memory due to your style not being my type. I don't think I've ever voted against you. Maybe I have. But anyways, you had some serious nuance here. And that's what separates a textcee from a writer, in my mind. You built a character, which is my favorite thing, subtly. And your rhymes were a bit more intricate than my preconceptions usually give you credit for. It's not the technical-route I would have gone (I love complex rhymes and schemes) but your approach was top tier. I think your restraint in terms of rhyming is on purpose; you avoid overloading on technical ability and instead focus on wording. Your wording inbetween rhymes, a weak point of mine, is very strong and carries the heart of your verse. I also liked your topic, it acted as an ironic 'twist', the opposite of what the reader expected. Fresh - "People soaked her story up like a towel, so she gave it a twist" That is a fucking awesome line. If you had kept up the pace and rhythm you set in the first two sections throughout the piece you would have won. You obviously know what you're doing. Your overall approach wasn't even close in terms of nuance to Diodes. But your wording (which was very strong) made me flip flop on my decision. I think if you had approached this topic better, conceptually, you could have ran away with this. You had highlights. I honestly hope Diode offers Fresh the same reprieve Fresh offered him in DLB's sway topic; a signature and avy line adjustment saying he's Diode's "bitch" or whatever. I think Diode won but I want to read more from Fresh because he's honestly a talented writer. Very interesting read from both. v/Diode __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder