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03-06-2014, 04:56 PM
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#10 |
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Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25
Accomplishments - OM HOF
Champed - Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)
Rep Power: 49604320   |
This was nice. Obviously you are comfortable with your lyricism and just as experienced as anyone around here. The subject matter was somewhat corny; the saving grace had to be the buttery rhyme scheme. At times, it got a bit expected...where it would rhyme and how it would rhyme. The story itself and the progression was still solid.
Welcome to the site. Keep doing you |
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