Week 1: Objective vs. Just Write \\ Just Write wins 6-0

Vulgar · 03-01-2014, 10:26 PM

Just Write - Pretty good verse, it's rare that someone has the brevity to go for a full story like this with a beginning, middle and end. You didn't sacrifice anything to shorten it. I thought it was written alright, you had a traditional style introduction with two boys who would soon grow up to be in business together in the drug trade. Nothing in this happened that was unexpected or 'wowed' me but it was a satisfactory take with good closure at the end.

Objective - lol, you ambitious bastard. I can tell you might have had a problem coming up with ideas for how to approach this topic so you went with something that was meant to be left field and cutthroat. I honestly don't think it succeeded but it was a fun read nonetheless. The native language rhymes were a cool personal touch and the picture at the end with the man flinging away the chains made me grin.

Vote - Just Write

03-01-2014, 10:26 PM	#6
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Just Write - Pretty good verse, it's rare that someone has the brevity to go for a full story like this with a beginning, middle and end. You didn't sacrifice anything to shorten it. I thought it was written alright, you had a traditional style introduction with two boys who would soon grow up to be in business together in the drug trade. Nothing in this happened that was unexpected or 'wowed' me but it was a satisfactory take with good closure at the end. Objective - lol, you ambitious bastard. I can tell you might have had a problem coming up with ideas for how to approach this topic so you went with something that was meant to be left field and cutthroat. I honestly don't think it succeeded but it was a fun read nonetheless. The native language rhymes were a cool personal touch and the picture at the end with the man flinging away the chains made me grin. Vote - Just Write