Week 1: Objective vs. Just Write \\ Just Write wins 6-0

timeless · 03-01-2014, 04:35 PM

Just Write, This was a cool read. The story had questions, a big one pertaining to why the MC got sentenced to death row in the first place. To go from selling heroin to death row is a big step, and it seems you left out some in-betweens. Flow could’ve been more in depth, but it wasn’t too bad. As to how you pertained to the topic, it was cool, just wish it wasn’t incorporated in the ending, as a lot of writers tend to do. Not bad though man I enjoyed it.

Objective, “ Look at these scarred expired stretched lines lacking them hard desired fresh rhymes simply breaking through your comfort zone like forced rapes with a barb wired flesh light.” LOL, this was dope. I wish you came more complete here, cuz I probably would’ve voted for you on that line alone. Seems you rushed it, and took a halfassed writers block take on the topic. Rhymes weren’t bad but nothing really stood out.

Giving this to JW for a more satisfying read, creativity and effort are big keys to use while in the voting process, and JW took this hands down imo. Objective shouldn’t have rushed.

V. JW

03-01-2014, 04:35 PM	#10
timeless past tense Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: NJ Posts: 1,623 Battle Record: 22-39 Rep Power: 4341329	Just Write, This was a cool read. The story had questions, a big one pertaining to why the MC got sentenced to death row in the first place. To go from selling heroin to death row is a big step, and it seems you left out some in-betweens. Flow could’ve been more in depth, but it wasn’t too bad. As to how you pertained to the topic, it was cool, just wish it wasn’t incorporated in the ending, as a lot of writers tend to do. Not bad though man I enjoyed it. Objective, “ Look at these scarred expired stretched lines lacking them hard desired fresh rhymes simply breaking through your comfort zone like forced rapes with a barb wired flesh light.” LOL, this was dope. I wish you came more complete here, cuz I probably would’ve voted for you on that line alone. Seems you rushed it, and took a halfassed writers block take on the topic. Rhymes weren’t bad but nothing really stood out. Giving this to JW for a more satisfying read, creativity and effort are big keys to use while in the voting process, and JW took this hands down imo. Objective shouldn’t have rushed. V. JW