SEMIS: (3)Vulgar vs. (7)Lars - (LARS WINS 7-0)

[Vulgar]

"Nicodemus the Insatiable One"

Nicodemus lived in an obscure crook of the countryside for most of his life
The loner type, he was born and raised around the odors of mice
Being a hermit ensured he existed meagerly at the nexus of solacy
He'd give wandering beggars apologies, for he himself was the essence of poverty
Gathering firewood one morning, Nicodemus was delighted to see
The flight of the bees; he rejoiced in his abode of soulful silence and peace
He invited his niece Genevieve for supper, feeling generously sweet
They settled on a tiny nectarine for each... his body had no memory of meat
Genevieve was pleased, playing with butterflies by the waterfall in the backyard
Suddenly an imp appeared in a midnight suit, called himself The Black Bard
"Greetings, young miscreant... I am Phineas of the Hypogeum of Al-Sufleini"
It drummed its craggly claws on the damp rocks, the twinkles in its eyes alternating
"Phineas? You look more like a Phil," the girl mused,
"Why have you come, O Thunderous Shiekh?"
Noting that the girl's sense of honor was tongue in cheek, the imp told her to jump in the creek
And by the gods of the forest... there was something beneath!
"Well, little lady, it seems you've happened upon an item of fortune,
which may or may not leave one of your Cherished One's inside of a coffin"
Genevieve was skeptical, cradling the glowing orb in her wet, muddy hands
First, she used it to conjure a wolf to chase away the Black Bard, then some fresh cuts of lamb
From the distance, she heard an echoing croon... "One wish left, little girl"
"Okay, Phil. I wish for my loving uncle to be blessed with all of the wealth in the world"
She heard a series of deafening tremors, the forest clambered to find its bearings
Where her uncle's shack used to be was a golden house garnished with diamonds & the finest pairings
Ecstatic with what she had accomplished, Genevieve ran into the house to tell her uncle the news
but he was already standing in the doorway in golden chainmail,
"Who dares disturb my wondrous subterfuge? This must be the summer of fools"
Genevieve snapped back:
"Why so hostile, Uncle? And why are you holding that shovel, you scrooge!"
She tried to playfully dart around her uncle but with surprising grace
The old man swung the shovel with full force, metal collided with the child's face
She fell lifelessly, this innocent faun who'd bestowed him with this miraculous gambit
He was cursed with the madness of malice -
weighed down by the riches in his new, enchanted spectacular attic

Nicodemus takes it all for himself... such a sumptuous lord,
He cremated his niece, then scattered her golden dust on the floor,
"You see," the Black Bard said, "all the wealth in the world turned him forsaken inside,
...content to rule over his tomb full of bullion until the day that he died."
The creature began waltzing through the greenery, the waterfall its throne
"When you are granted three wishes, only give unto others what the forest's grown,
Discard the hoards of bargained gold. For there is nothing in this world we can call our own..."