TOPICAL: Aesthetic vs. Split Eight -- Split Eight wins

Aesthetic · 02-14-2014, 05:54 AM

Her name was Natália she had truth in her eyes.
A young woman from the favella who had strength in her size.
She found that demise is a symbol of purity.
When enlightenment is caused from gods scrutiny.
A talent she always had was painting pictures.
From writing poetry to drawing picturesque scriptures.
And every step she took she pictured the brightest sky.
Waiting for a man everyday praying life wouldn't lie.

Day at the market crowded and unkind.
A shop teller tries screwing her out of a dollar and dime.
A young man approaches and covers the fee, he says for you anything is free.
Shes unwitting and willingly to exert her personality.
Starstruck and loving like her heart was a casualty.
They meet daily to talk and riddle passionatly.
Hes always bashful funny and outgoing.
Her prayers she thought had been finally answered.

As usual they both meet to recap.
At a dock where the white men vacation at.
He convinces a captain to sail the cliffs waters.
Where caves and castles are built like alters.
Romantics gazing at stars reflecting passed fathers.
Sex at candlelight, the night was her quintessence.

Natália is walked home to her family, a happy ending.
But the next day her calls are pending.
Heart reprimending she head to his house.
Careless and fast like a cat and mouse.
Approaches the door but it breezes open.
She finds her boyfriend bloodied but glooming
And a man standing frenzied and grooming.
"Where did u think he got that money?"
She hugs him tight promising to squeeze tighter.
Snaps, the mans head, fire from a lighter.
Catching her eyes, and lovers head.
Blind from beauty covered in red.
But the girl, without sight to be said.
Lives everyday drawing the things that's prevented from led.
The boy survived, and opened a shop that helps young men plan ahead.

Really forgot how hard it is to write a story in 32 lines. I forgot I was on time, so im dropping it as is. I whent over the limit cause I wasn't counting lines, though im not worried about losing. Just had to write something. Goodluck and im looking forward to your piece.

02-14-2014, 05:54 AM	#1
Aesthetic Pimp Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: N/W Posts: 1,068 Battle Record: 1-12 Rep Power: 0	Her name was Natália she had truth in her eyes. A young woman from the favella who had strength in her size. She found that demise is a symbol of purity. When enlightenment is caused from gods scrutiny. A talent she always had was painting pictures. From writing poetry to drawing picturesque scriptures. And every step she took she pictured the brightest sky. Waiting for a man everyday praying life wouldn't lie. Day at the market crowded and unkind. A shop teller tries screwing her out of a dollar and dime. A young man approaches and covers the fee, he says for you anything is free. Shes unwitting and willingly to exert her personality. Starstruck and loving like her heart was a casualty. They meet daily to talk and riddle passionatly. Hes always bashful funny and outgoing. Her prayers she thought had been finally answered. As usual they both meet to recap. At a dock where the white men vacation at. He convinces a captain to sail the cliffs waters. Where caves and castles are built like alters. Romantics gazing at stars reflecting passed fathers. Sex at candlelight, the night was her quintessence. Natália is walked home to her family, a happy ending. But the next day her calls are pending. Heart reprimending she head to his house. Careless and fast like a cat and mouse. Approaches the door but it breezes open. She finds her boyfriend bloodied but glooming And a man standing frenzied and grooming. "Where did u think he got that money?" She hugs him tight promising to squeeze tighter. Snaps, the mans head, fire from a lighter. Catching her eyes, and lovers head. Blind from beauty covered in red. But the girl, without sight to be said. Lives everyday drawing the things that's prevented from led. The boy survived, and opened a shop that helps young men plan ahead. Really forgot how hard it is to write a story in 32 lines. I forgot I was on time, so im dropping it as is. I whent over the limit cause I wasn't counting lines, though im not worried about losing. Just had to write something. Goodluck and im looking forward to your piece. Last edited by Aesthetic; 02-14-2014 at 06:01 AM.