QUARTERS: (3)Vulgar vs. (R)oats - (VULGAR WINS 5-0)

Soulstice · 02-06-2014, 03:27 PM

vulgar - OK the beginning of this verse was interesting to say the least and it was difficult to set a timeline, not that it matter enormously. But in my opinion it is more present day - seeing that the "ten commandments" a symbol for something well get into later - were paved over and treated to a heretical lust for historical knowledge ignore the actual meaning collegiate gauntlet once they were found. The breathing god, the prophet, is reminiscent of other religious figureheads - Moses, Jesus, etc. - and the sheer conviction of the Esther line drove home the feeling of biblical omnipotence. So now enter his parable. The lines of kick the rich djinn were a little out of place I thought of the overall of the speaker's language and the piece as a whole even if it was dialogue. The overall themes of the speech were cool - wealth gap, labor/wages ratio, it also went to a more literal take of the environment towards the end, and of course the piece conclides with a "let my people grow", so in my opinion the ten commandments were sort of a double symbol for literally the environment as well as there actual purpose, harmony among men - there were also facets of religious leaders which wouldve been more appropriate a few years a go but could fit into the theme of leaders a s awhole not getting the point.

Oats - A piece about a brilliant madman fed up with the environment-murdering functions of the world. Interesting, I wish you would've outlined motives a little more, or his thought process a little because I was a little confused about what was happening the first few times. I also was extremely confused about the imagery until I adjusted that it was a total sci-fi invention that I couldn't have connected to without figuring out the piece first. The Oppenheimer reference towards the end was pretty fuckin coo though, once I put everything togethter. And the last line was a clever nod to what I assume to be the Mass-Effect like circularity of the evolution of life on Earth. The buildings will rise again in due time, when some other mad genius might unleash an eco-nightmare and the greenery will rise again. I hope I got it.

V - vulgar
Oats took it mechnanically but after a few serious thoughtful readthroughs I understood Vulgars more, and he packed more content into it as well. I think Oats could've done with a little bit of expansion on the situation, because it was a cool piece with dope flow, but more imagery and introspection into the character would've done wonders, for me at least

02-06-2014, 03:27 PM	#7
Soulstice native system Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 387 Battle Record: 18-21 Champed - Short-Verse Topical Rep Power: 4453411	vulgar - OK the beginning of this verse was interesting to say the least and it was difficult to set a timeline, not that it matter enormously. But in my opinion it is more present day - seeing that the "ten commandments" a symbol for something well get into later - were paved over and treated to a heretical lust for historical knowledge ignore the actual meaning collegiate gauntlet once they were found. The breathing god, the prophet, is reminiscent of other religious figureheads - Moses, Jesus, etc. - and the sheer conviction of the Esther line drove home the feeling of biblical omnipotence. So now enter his parable. The lines of kick the rich djinn were a little out of place I thought of the overall of the speaker's language and the piece as a whole even if it was dialogue. The overall themes of the speech were cool - wealth gap, labor/wages ratio, it also went to a more literal take of the environment towards the end, and of course the piece conclides with a "let my people grow", so in my opinion the ten commandments were sort of a double symbol for literally the environment as well as there actual purpose, harmony among men - there were also facets of religious leaders which wouldve been more appropriate a few years a go but could fit into the theme of leaders a s awhole not getting the point. Oats - A piece about a brilliant madman fed up with the environment-murdering functions of the world. Interesting, I wish you would've outlined motives a little more, or his thought process a little because I was a little confused about what was happening the first few times. I also was extremely confused about the imagery until I adjusted that it was a total sci-fi invention that I couldn't have connected to without figuring out the piece first. The Oppenheimer reference towards the end was pretty fuckin coo though, once I put everything togethter. And the last line was a clever nod to what I assume to be the Mass-Effect like circularity of the evolution of life on Earth. The buildings will rise again in due time, when some other mad genius might unleash an eco-nightmare and the greenery will rise again. I hope I got it. V - vulgar Oats took it mechnanically but after a few serious thoughtful readthroughs I understood Vulgars more, and he packed more content into it as well. I think Oats could've done with a little bit of expansion on the situation, because it was a cool piece with dope flow, but more imagery and introspection into the character would've done wonders, for me at least Last edited by Soulstice; 02-08-2014 at 01:34 PM.