AOWL Week 4: bleak (0-1) VS. Zenland (1-2) [ZENLAND WINS, 5-3.]

[Witty]

Zen - I liked this, it was like a rant and the topic has been done before, but honestly it is something that can always be written about and will always be an important topic not just in writing but in the world in general, so there is no reason you shouldn't write about it just because plenty have done so before. Your rhyming and flow was on point throughout, the were a few minor syllable mismatches but honestly I only noticed because I like to keep mine tight at all times, it really wasn't a problem, I'm just being an asshole lol This was a cool piece, I feel you could have went further into it and really offered some fresh views on how you think the situation could be resolved, it felt like you were pointing out what is wrong and why it is wrong, an opinion on how to change it would have rounded this piece off nicely, but it was a very cool piece man, props.

Bleak - This would make a pretty cool song, but in all honesty i didn't really understand what it was about, the rhyming and flow were there and the imagery and emotion were at the forefront of the piece, they made it a very interesting and cool read, but I feel everything was face value, there wasn't really anything deeper than the words in the piece, I didn't get what you were trying to go for, what message or moral the piece was giving out, I'm pretty sure there was something there, and that I missed it..but it just felt like random rambling about struggling, without going into any further detail. As I said, when it comes to the technical aspects this piece was pretty flawless for the most part, and well written...I just didn't get much feeling from it, like I enjoyed it but when it ended I was left needing explanation as to what the piece was really about, I hope that makes sense.

This was a cool battle, I think both could have done better, but the pieces were dope and I really enjoyed reading them both.

Vote - Zenland.