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#1 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() no show vs fig in Winter Topical it's more like, a metaphor for where these verbs drift where the feline between your green legs isn't purring. I whisper a singular poem, intervened breaths so unnerving words strip your soul, sea of stress. these tulips converging watering your rose-bed. prime faucet, growth blossoms from its roots inundating so awesome, saliva droplets form caution to your fruit pass the rush. or taste a grasp and cusps, as this stallion busts if that weren’t enough. try & answer love. I forget the science pinned you against a wall. gravities ineffective on your capricorn-like lust explode inside, where no man has triumphed. this lions magic thrust most physical law forms can’t resolve this defying act of lust i’m programmed to fuck. software interprets the code you want unlocking decipher the matrix surface, aboard this horny locksmith to unload this perverted trojan horse that ive concockted if collarbones are for nibbling, the arch you form is my hearts’ synopsis searching I could sense your chakra flowing, and fully diagnose it as lava whirling. my pinocchio woody has come to surface, and surely he is not so nervous to jerk and spit on your prada purses, my serpent lynch. Give God your cervix. pilot this plane, til’ your metatarsal bones are marked for curling dress you up in blush hickey pools, that come in forms of bursted galaxies connecting constellation schools along your basin. Create a perfect map of these. so innately, the Gods awaken to admire dreams. jealous of the coloration my tongues creating. hum a vibrational moan that travels through my lips & phonetically pulsates your queen, in this dulcet extreme with such a connotational tone, it unravels through your hips observe tiny ripples spawn when I palm your backside with force squirm at the gaudy impact, it’ll feel like a landmine with torque It’s assinine. But worse, is that I’m a pressure censored drone one step forward; this leprechaun of golds', registered to explode an emphatic long-kiss, stops it. long enough for me to inform interrupted long-breaths, I disclose to my messengers not to go report our love like a perfect swarm. so exciting when it drips rain your thunderstorm nails, cleave marks like bolts of lightning on my ribcage An abstract author would call it : - Athena/Zeus; role reversal bitframe thought you'd haul my spinal cord along my torso with that look on your face weather report forecasted downpouring sex hormones once you took off your lace testosterones useless. There’s nothing that could handle your moistiness a titanic story twist. Paddle boats first, but I’d rather drown in the coitus tempestuous fire. You could come test me, if you think that I’m idle one hell of a cinch, you’d think it was sex for survival for your bellowing prince the way that delicate kiss, turns into pecks of revival for my yellowish skin You’re my featherette. My gentleness. This gentlemen itching to guide through arch your back 1 more inch, that’s exactly 1 more that’s stretching inside you so settle in this, one more length of your lips', leathery licks my dollar bills whisper washingtons' ingenuous haiku while you’re clenching your fist. Id come clench it beside. move to let you know we’re on fire, I feel when you flinch. souls so close together they send a message, as to hint, our life forces are vital. i’m an immense horse, riding on his Pegasus to find you and when my soldiers enriched. He could spread his wings. Your vagina |
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#2 |
nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Let me start this off in saying I appreciate the lengthy breakdowns you have given some of my pieces. Even if it wasn't long. Your feedback always seems to be genuine and un tainted for you are trying to better the writer through opening up their "writing horizons" so to speak. It doesn't go unnoticed, at least not by me. Thank you. Now on to this steaming pile of jerk booth trail mix. This was the best written posted in the first round of The Winter Topical. Fig's young and knew he didn't have what it took to conquer this sexual Goliath. He hid his face in a corner. No surprise though and obviously I'm not taking a thing away from fig's craft. It's just painfully obv that Blacketh might be the only one who stands a chance matched up against you. You did everything that people can't do with this pic that you were giving. I feel you got the better pic. But I also am an impulse thinker and the more I looked and thought about my pic, the less I wanted to rip it to shreds and stomp it's light out. Maybe even drop a luger (lougui) lugee. Idk how to spell it. Whatever. Alright. I'm laying on my buddies living room floor, in a sleeping bag, dehydrated, socks/jeans/hoodie on. Rubbing my feet together trying to get some last bit of Molly that's circulating my pores to kick in. Just a FYI. I'm hungover. I was cut off before I even entered the bar last night and I was thoroughly disgustapated over. The bouncers were like a mean 315. Fat fucks. I could uppercut force fed his nutsuck but I wanted to remain somewhat civil, even though they decided to give me the shaft before even getting to know me? Anyways. You incorporated every aspect of the picture in this! Bloody tampon man. It was something no other did. People were given fucking open canvas's, ready to get gang banged and all of them except for maybe you and two others, imo (and maybe myself idk) shit diarrhea all over it. Idk if I've said it but this was right around my fav of flirt round verses. I will edit this later on and actually give you feed. Sorry.
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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#3 |
V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247259 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Wise writes epic feeds. Not good, but epic.
Anywho, the only gripe i had was end rhyme repeating. Other than that, it was great besides not really being what i like to read. You killed it though, and your imagination is pleasantly bizarre. Good job diaper wielder.
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Ahem. |
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#4 |
nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,505
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788022 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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You've never seen me give someone actual feedback.
__________________
"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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#5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,228
Champed - NWL Season 2
- Art of Writing League (5x)
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- AOWL Season 6
- AOWL Season 10
Rep Power: 3853347 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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CORNY
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VETWORK
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#6 |
Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19
Champed - AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)
Rep Power: 85899406 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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I liked the original opening couplet a lot. This also was my favorite verse of the first round, though.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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#7 |
Mic Check
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Vote: Fig
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My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete. |
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#8 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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I was being nice to your sore loser self but now you're not cool in my book you lame ass writer. People gas you up around here like you're a topical threat, you aren't EVEN that, and that's your only claim to victory. Stop pming me like a little crybaby pussy because I voted against you when pancake easily manhandled you. I'll let you borrow my bib to wipe your tears and pancakes/nigmas cumshot off your face you cumbucket. @Nigma ether this loser before I do it indefinitely. Feel my baby cock in your bellybutton till your organs implode. You're bad. The only reason you get far in any topical scene is because nobody signs up except fig who always no shows and he'd ether you if he did. And the only tournament where/when real talent actually joined, with real threats, guess who got knocked the FUCK out in the first round? You take this so seriously and you need to learn so much. if you ask nicely, me and some of my buddies can teach you how to write so you dont get shut out by pancake again (though i'll bet an abortion, my crib, my circumcision foreskin that you'll get shutout again by him if i did help you) like uh-oh said, he took the words out of my baby mouth. Last time you tried to hijack my thread like you were some big shit promoting your lame ass battle. This is my area. If I wanted to join topical tourney's you wouldnt make it past any round you got matched up against me. but, i don't really care for this, i actually just joined to read the mags and watch you get ethered again. don't ever say i write like you again, that's not even a subtle compliment on your patronizing behalf. it's actually an insult to someone like me. or my buddies, or anybody in my imaginary netcees faction.
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#9 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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go nuzzle a hooter with your nuker.
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#10 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,228
Champed - NWL Season 2
- Art of Writing League (5x)
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- AOWL Season 6
- AOWL Season 10
Rep Power: 3853347 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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WHOS YOUR DADDY
__________________
VETWORK
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#11 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,150
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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these are the cries of the carrot.
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Tags |
cornball, dont no show fig, inferior complex |
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