Opening Round Discussion & Predictions

Vulgar · 01-19-2014, 10:28 PM

Split Eight - I broke this down in my notebook but it's written in Zygotian Sanskrit so I don't feel like translating that right now. In reality, it's in another room and I'm laying down nursing a sore Achilles. I thought the verse was good, you are slick with words. The highlight for me was the infinity line, though infinity was an odd word to use for it. Kingdom of Wrath was fresh. Overall, it was a little predictable, the act of using the tiger literally in the story of animal confinement. At times it was a tad exuberant for my tastes, poetically speaking.

VERITAS - This may sound condescending in tone, but it's not meant to: I think your ideas and imagination place ahead of your current writing abilities. You formulate well, that's not the issue of your topical impact. You are just spreading butter over a too large piece of bread. First read I wasn't feeling the ending completely. After letting the thought process sink in, I'm fond of it. I just think your level of writing needs work.

Vote - sPlit8

@Split Eight @VERITAS

01-19-2014, 10:28 PM	#40
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Split Eight - I broke this down in my notebook but it's written in Zygotian Sanskrit so I don't feel like translating that right now. In reality, it's in another room and I'm laying down nursing a sore Achilles. I thought the verse was good, you are slick with words. The highlight for me was the infinity line, though infinity was an odd word to use for it. Kingdom of Wrath was fresh. Overall, it was a little predictable, the act of using the tiger literally in the story of animal confinement. At times it was a tad exuberant for my tastes, poetically speaking. VERITAS - This may sound condescending in tone, but it's not meant to: I think your ideas and imagination place ahead of your current writing abilities. You formulate well, that's not the issue of your topical impact. You are just spreading butter over a too large piece of bread. First read I wasn't feeling the ending completely. After letting the thought process sink in, I'm fond of it. I just think your level of writing needs work. Vote - sPlit8 @Split Eight @VERITAS