ROUND ONE: (15)Wise Ways vs. (18)Vividlyvague - (WISE WAYS WINS 6-1)

Diode · 01-19-2014, 01:14 PM

wise:

didn't like the opener - was the lairs thing intentional or did you misspell layers? the flow was very stilted in that aesop rock or ghostface killa sort of way. excessively abstract and disjointed in the way you described them. i liked the approach and you successfully incorporated all of the elements in the photo. the descriptive style is not my personal favorite (speaking in vague terms and seemingly nonsensical-but-actually-allusive speech patterns), but i can't hold it against you as you have mastered that approach. the ending was a great way to tie it all up in a neat bow. your take on this was good, i'm just not a fan of this style.

vag:

obviously a smoother, more traditional flow here. i was very disappointed that you left out the majority of the photo in order to focus on one individual and extrapolate from there. i was even more disappointed with the cliched revenge-oops plot line since it was telegraphed a mile away. your rhyme schemes were also a lot more basic than i am used to seeing from you as was your lack of attention to detail. i don't know if you were trying something new since you generally run in the metaphor style, but this was a bit too on the nose for me. the flow was superior to almost all of you past work, however.

i have to give this to wise on the merits of incorporating the picture in a superior fashion.

01-19-2014, 01:14 PM	#10
Diode PR's Finest Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 14,165 Battle Record: 12-7 Rep Power: 85899410	wise: didn't like the opener - was the lairs thing intentional or did you misspell layers? the flow was very stilted in that aesop rock or ghostface killa sort of way. excessively abstract and disjointed in the way you described them. i liked the approach and you successfully incorporated all of the elements in the photo. the descriptive style is not my personal favorite (speaking in vague terms and seemingly nonsensical-but-actually-allusive speech patterns), but i can't hold it against you as you have mastered that approach. the ending was a great way to tie it all up in a neat bow. your take on this was good, i'm just not a fan of this style. vag: obviously a smoother, more traditional flow here. i was very disappointed that you left out the majority of the photo in order to focus on one individual and extrapolate from there. i was even more disappointed with the cliched revenge-oops plot line since it was telegraphed a mile away. your rhyme schemes were also a lot more basic than i am used to seeing from you as was your lack of attention to detail. i don't know if you were trying something new since you generally run in the metaphor style, but this was a bit too on the nose for me. the flow was superior to almost all of you past work, however. i have to give this to wise on the merits of incorporating the picture in a superior fashion. __________________