ZygVulg - John Smithsonian

[Vulgar]

c

[Wise Wiggles]

flames. if I were to quote, it'd take all night. swell job fellas.

[Natural]

Bump

[big baby]

Usually instead of bumping you can actually comment instead of saying bump.

[Exis]

Daylight muzzles closely to a fertile female shadow land
stenciling the silicon landscape and its vast expanse
Mountain goats leap over fallen logs, bears eat fish from a stream
The tranquil breeze passing by your earlobes - is it a spirit or flea?
Feel nimble and free
Picking red giant apples from space time continuum tree
Take the trickling creeks, the deepest caverns, then the fumes of Jalalabad
Everything in life and in science has levels... including the habitat

^^I was gonna quote a little of the openin' section but after readin' it I decided to highlight it all... great imagery here fa real.

Several licks from his Labrador was the only way he was a lad adored
Too drab, a chortled Atkins hoarder - it kept malnutrition out the door
Women came and went, chalk up Mother Earth if he felt any lust
enthused by the bosom of tectonics, the continental shelf was his love
He undertook a journey to the center of the urge...he'd felt in his gut
A non-religious man, "the only cross I behold is the firewood kept in my ruck"
Wrote in his notebook nearly every evening. You know, elegant stuff.

^^Dope.

It's more culture than religion - from Sheba to Krishna
I sought purpose, not permission in seeking a seasonal mitzvah
Demolitions teams drove Jeeps with ballista's
Seeking a meaning to a secret enigma.
Bleed from the stigma, nailed psalms and songs of praise,
Running endlessly in a prayer wheel along this Karmic race,
From a place where faith is stored in dogma’s grave,
I stretch out and rest across this conscious space.”

^^Chea.

“All these sterile environments resemble sedimentary rock,
Forming experimental conditions before electrical shock,
Behind the iron curtain of an academical bloc,
Demagogues mock and observe through the spherical fog,

^^Nice multies.

With Katherine his best friend, an Orthodox woman who found refuge in silence,
He thought both Muslim and Orthodox Christian positions ended in sectarian violence,
Agnostic but anti-religious, he was unsure of God but certain with method and science,
Led through his life by an inquisitive nature and a questioning guidance.

He wrote of his love for walking,

“Concentrate a few steps ahead along each different natural track,
Watch the ground in front, the dry soil, the small fissures and cracks.
I treat it like a spiritual experience, majestic surroundings abound,
Every now and again I stop to look around and take in the sights and the sounds.
Listen to the choir of insects and soloist crows, punctuated by the peace and the quiet,
Feeling the climate, animal Kingdom emissaries meeting in private."

He slept at systematic intervals during his long journeys,

Limestone was his bedpost, Templar sleeping chambers under a frozen bridge
'cause apparently the Pope liked to cool off and get his colon cleansed
"So I've heard of a golden sphinx..." was how he'd speak to his affiliates
In his mind, he was not a man, not Greek nor a Brazilian
He was a grain of sand, a living hypothesis on the beaches of Mauritius

^^This whole shit was my fav if I had to pick a part I liked most.

Awesome collab fellas, I can't think of a duo that compliments each others styles the way you two do...this had everythin' you could want in a piece when hittin' up the OM section.Some of the imagery was brilliant, content was sick and well yeah let's be honest...I could go on and on about every element for quite a while here and probably still would have a shit load of stuff to say after it's gone from the first page and residin' on the fifth or sixth...this was flames y'all, absolutely superb in all aspects.

Stay uppity.

[dull boy]

I read this. It was really good.

[Certain]

This was very good, but I thought it was going to turn into a story instead of stagnating in character development. That's not to say it didn't hold up to its length or writing. It did, but it sort of defied my expectations from the first two stanzas. The structure was unique in this way. I'm curious as to who wrote what, so I'll hazard guesses as I break it down further.

Daylight muzzles closely to a fertile female shadow land
stenciling the silicon landscape and its vast expanse
Mountain goats leap over fallen logs, bears eat fish from a stream
The tranquil breeze passing by your earlobes - is it a spirit or flea?
Feel nimble and free
Picking red giant apples from space time continuum tree
Take the trickling creeks, the deepest caverns, then the fumes of Jalalabad
Everything in life and in science has levels... including the habitat

Setting the scene is tricky. This opened the stage for some of the note-taking exercises later in the verse, but it didn't add a whole lot. It was a little tough to pick up the cadence here, but for the most part, this was the most simplistic stanza in the verse and served its purpose. I would have been fine cutting it, though, too. I'll guess that this was Vulgar.

The professor wasn't the cleverest of learned men...

His scientific career had already passed through the has-been door
Clad in torn clothes, feathers in his cap flapped, he carried raptor claws
He married Katherine, stormed down the aisle and a sadness formed
because he missed the secret contraptions, glyphs & ancient glass décor
Several licks from his Labrador was the only way he was a lad adored
Too drab, a chortled Atkins hoarder - it kept malnutrition out the door
Women came and went, chalk up Mother Earth if he felt any lust
enthused by the bosom of tectonics, the continental shelf was his love
He undertook a journey to the center of the urge...he'd felt in his gut
A non-religious man, "the only cross I behold is the firewood kept in my ruck"
Wrote in his notebook nearly every evening. You know, elegant stuff.

My storytelling bias probably shows when I say this was my favorite stanza in the verse. The descriptions were rock-solid, and the rhymes were strong throughout. This part became much more relevant as the verse went on, which is what good character development does. My feeling is that this was ZYG, somewhat mimicking Vulgar and even referencing his last verse.

like

"Majestic surroundings do exist, if open minds corroborate
Deep underground where white coats notarize the Mongol apes
Plateaus pancake but Odin won't provide the sauce or crepes
Children line up for stalactite soup on the swollen side of Nazca Lakes
Even though most surmise and postulate about man's origins
The coastal tribes of sovereign states demand storage bins
It's more culture than religion - from Sheba to Krishna
I sought purpose, not permission in seeking a seasonal mitzvah
Demolitions teams drove Jeeps with ballista's
Seeking a meaning to a secret enigma.
Bleed from the stigma, nailed psalms and songs of praise,
Running endlessly in a prayer wheel along this Karmic race,
From a place where faith is stored in dogma’s grave,
I stretch out and rest across this conscious space.”

The rhyming here is mesmerizing. This was really beautiful and, like all the quoted parts, could have stood on its own and in the abstract. Some of it was a shade out of focus, and it seems like an unusual entry into a scientist's notebook, but this isn't just any scientist, so I can accept that he'd be a bit looser. This reminded me a lot of some of Vulgar's best writing.

He wrote of his Greek and Turkish heritage,

“All these sterile environments resemble sedimentary rock,
Forming experimental conditions before electrical shock,
Behind the iron curtain of an academical bloc,
Demagogues mock and observe through the spherical fog,
Ad hoc epilogues stop like an Ecumenical Patriarch in a Byzantine basilica,
Overlooking Suleiman's mosque perched upon the Gallipoli peninsula.
They fought Janissary corps of the Ottoman state across the Anatolian plains,
The Greek empire stretched from Napoli to Vaspurakan’s gates,
Where they bordered the horsemen of the Mongolian race,
The mighty Ilkhanate was stopped at the Dardanelle straits by Alexios Komnenos the Great.
In the household we speak Turkish, English and Greek,
English for business, Turkish for family and Greek for the different people we meet."

This was a bit of a step down, probably too referential for my taste. There were a ton of proper nouns jammed in a tight space that made it seem very internalized. My guess is ZYG wrote this as a full-fledged Vulgar interpretation. But I liked the end, which did illuminate our scientist friend a bit.

With Katherine his best friend, an Orthodox woman who found refuge in silence,
He thought both Muslim and Orthodox Christian positions ended in sectarian violence,
Agnostic but anti-religious, he was unsure of God but certain with method and science,
Led through his life by an inquisitive nature and a questioning guidance.

More ZYG? It seems like it. This was a very strong, brief stanza. It cleared up some of his positions and gave us a bit of background. Of course, the story here would normally take off, but that's not the purpose of this piece. Instead, we're examining a brilliant mind.

He wrote of his love for walking,

“Concentrate a few steps ahead along each different natural track,
Watch the ground in front, the dry soil, the small fissures and cracks.
I treat it like a spiritual experience, majestic surroundings abound,
Every now and again I stop to look around and take in the sights and the sounds.
Listen to the choir of insects and soloist crows, punctuated by the peace and the quiet,
Feeling the climate, animal Kingdom emissaries meeting in private."

See, this felt very distinctly like ZYG as well. So maybe the above stanza was Vulgar. Anyway, that's not important. This entry was a bit more straightforward and, in a way, a bit more beautiful than the others. It was more relatable, to be sure, even if the words didn't quite connect like the first journal entry. And it felt like a very literate journal entry, as well. Here's where we really form an emotional attachment to the scientist, where he becomes one of us, if smarter and more worldly.

He slept at systematic intervals during his long journeys,

Limestone was his bedpost, Templar sleeping chambers under a frozen bridge
'cause apparently the Pope liked to cool off and get his colon cleansed
"So I've heard of a golden sphinx..." was how he'd speak to his affiliates
In his mind, he was not a man, not Greek nor a Brazilian
He was a grain of sand, a living hypothesis on the beaches of Mauritius

This was a very strong finish, seemingly by Vulgar. The pronunciation of "Brazilian" as four syllables through me off a bit. Otherwise, I liked the last line a lot. Mauritius supposedly has some of the clearest water in the world and is the perfect place for our scientist to live. The Pope getting his colon cleansed is a funny image. But I will say that this conclusion came too soon. I wanted more development, a better sense of who this man was behind the theories.

Still, I very much enjoyed the read.

[Eŋg]

i want to feed this.

[veritas]

With Katherine his best friend, an Orthodox woman who found refuge in silence,He thought both Muslim and Orthodox Christian positions ended in sectarian violence,Agnostic but anti-religious, he was unsure of God but certain with method and science,Led through his life by an inquisitive nature and a questioning guidance.


Sighs....so well until here.

[Just Write]

This was really good guts. Almost seemed like for the first 3-4 verses it just got better and better. I do agree with certain that it stayed in that stagnant state of describing the characters though but it was so descriptive that i didnt mind it at all. Very nice piece gentlemen

[Vulgar]

Thanks for all the feedback guise.

[Vulgar]

up? I can't resist.

[dull boy]

Lol. A worthy bump, Vulgar.