waking life (freewrite)

Exis · 01-07-2014, 07:25 AM

you've walked into meetings- intersections of paths
residing in burns upon retinas, get ahead while you nap,
got sleep up your sleeve, an Ambien ready,
bedding is ambient setting- upping for grabs,

^^Chea... Lovin' the scheme, first bar is dope.

Dominican rain. summer recitals. Aruarian- shuffle.
meaning washes your memory. notes colored, shuttled,
start again slow. ponds from a puddle. let motion elapse.
but the static just snows, globe in muddled old glass

^^Yum!

the borrowing bloke. we've all taken his form.
walking in paths. and the footprints were warm.
the maiden reward's nothing a castle-led voyage
could promise. light, capacitive eyelids saddled with poison,
boiling the silent velvet of roots, lashes of earth,
Vesuvian labryinth lapped in the magma-red birth,

^^Illness.

This was fire Split...imagery and schemes are off the chain with it, content is tight man...thought your word usage was exceptional here especially when compared to previous pieces I've commented on...this would be my favourite drop of yours by a long shot and I mean that in no way disrespectfful to previous joints you've submitted...great read in all aspects.

And thanks for the feed fam,
stay upwards.

01-07-2014, 07:25 AM	#2
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	you've walked into meetings- intersections of paths residing in burns upon retinas, get ahead while you nap, got sleep up your sleeve, an Ambien ready, bedding is ambient setting- upping for grabs, ^^Chea... Lovin' the scheme, first bar is dope. Dominican rain. summer recitals. Aruarian- shuffle. meaning washes your memory. notes colored, shuttled, start again slow. ponds from a puddle. let motion elapse. but the static just snows, globe in muddled old glass ^^Yum! the borrowing bloke. we've all taken his form. walking in paths. and the footprints were warm. the maiden reward's nothing a castle-led voyage could promise. light, capacitive eyelids saddled with poison, boiling the silent velvet of roots, lashes of earth, Vesuvian labryinth lapped in the magma-red birth, ^^Illness. This was fire Split...imagery and schemes are off the chain with it, content is tight man...thought your word usage was exceptional here especially when compared to previous pieces I've commented on...this would be my favourite drop of yours by a long shot and I mean that in no way disrespectfful to previous joints you've submitted...great read in all aspects. And thanks for the feed fam, stay upwards.