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01-03-2014, 05:37 AM
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#5 |
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Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19
Champed - AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)
Rep Power: 85899406   |
This was very good. Your style is exceptionally clean, which I gravitate toward, but I don't think the content here really showed what you can do. There were a lot of cliches. The rhyming was fluid, though, and I could see this working better with a second verse written by someone else.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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