Uh huh

Natural · 01-02-2014, 11:00 AM

Natural:
You star struck bitches need to admit I'm you're idol.
Ya'll worship me like my words are spit from the Bible.
Jesus Christ even knows that I'm the king of all music.
I guess that doesn't stop the crowd from crucifying my movement
Let's decypher the code and reveal my goal is improvement.
I'ma keep earning my stripes until the fuckin tiger's included.
I take pride on my journey just like the lion's would do it.
Ain't no blood sucker sharp enough to drain me of fluid.
I'm an immortal who just regenerates his momentum
So I can get to the next stage and begin injecting my venom

Exis · 01-02-2014, 11:35 AM

I like this but Idk it seems sumthin' is missin...actually lackin' is probably a more appropriate word to use in this case.Alot of this read as very predictable, would have liked you to fuck with the scheme a little, Havin' said that I thought from the 'Jesus Christ line to the lions would do it' section is slick...don't think I've read anything' of yours before but yeah, I will in the future...rtf if you care to I'm not phased either way.

Stay uppity.

jdeek · 01-02-2014, 12:15 PM

yeah this wasn't too bad at all...a little more switchin up of things would be cool...the lines were nice, but you could liven it up a bit by playin with the scheme a little like exis said. but good shit though...keep writin

01-02-2014, 11:00 AM	#1
Natural Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 659 Rep Power: 0	Uh huh Natural: You star struck bitches need to admit I'm you're idol. Ya'll worship me like my words are spit from the Bible. Jesus Christ even knows that I'm the king of all music. I guess that doesn't stop the crowd from crucifying my movement Let's decypher the code and reveal my goal is improvement. I'ma keep earning my stripes until the fuckin tiger's included. I take pride on my journey just like the lion's would do it. Ain't no blood sucker sharp enough to drain me of fluid. I'm an immortal who just regenerates his momentum So I can get to the next stage and begin injecting my venom

01-02-2014, 11:35 AM	#2
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	I like this but Idk it seems sumthin' is missin...actually lackin' is probably a more appropriate word to use in this case.Alot of this read as very predictable, would have liked you to fuck with the scheme a little, Havin' said that I thought from the 'Jesus Christ line to the lions would do it' section is slick...don't think I've read anything' of yours before but yeah, I will in the future...rtf if you care to I'm not phased either way. Stay uppity.

01-02-2014, 12:15 PM	#3
jdeek Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 21 Rep Power: 0	yeah this wasn't too bad at all...a little more switchin up of things would be cool...the lines were nice, but you could liven it up a bit by playin with the scheme a little like exis said. but good shit though...keep writin