I just saw a bum wipe his ass with a Picasso drawing.

Wise Wiggles · 12-14-2013, 12:42 PM

I hate being awkward, off-putting.. "Call muhmuhmeEe". It takes faking apologies. Lol, I just pace, making a zombie scream. I'm naked. Planking. They follow me. Showing kiddies how to play Jason on hallow's eve (sry)srsly Painstakingly drama queen. Gta, baking & Dramamine. Good evening. Tasting the Bate's basement in the autumn breeze. Moscato concussion. This fucking coffee's disgustingly smooth. I'd be found if it wasn't for you. Climb me down this exquisite blushing is blue. Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting. I look at it like more of recruitment but I'm Lord of Illusions. Would you crawl through glass for my morbid amusement? Where teh fuck did the corpse of the muse sprint? Had it in the storage to use it. Fucking a, sorta confusing. I could'a swore I just, you seen. I left out the saw dust, perfume scheme. Bu-dum-bump, a bum's toilet paper. My lung's poison is air. A crumb of oil for flavor. Then run it over, like later.. on we should do acid & shrooms, dwindle our beings in the blackest lit room. Rekindle, we're reading the intro to grieving. Sixteen stories & that window's for leaving.

big baby · 12-14-2013, 05:31 PM

Paragraph format was reminiscing, and had a bit of the flare some are used to the netcees user. but this also had a flare of wise ways. Nothing really quotable, except the part where you mention what your friends are doing. I wish it did, though it didn't need any, and neither do many pieces. You lit up the dark side of the room with this. Continue on.

Nigma · 12-16-2013, 01:05 AM

paragraph drops are usually entertaining for me. felt the first halfs rhyme scheme was the strong point in the verse but the whole verse kept my attention, short as it was. fun writing exercise but you can only say so much about it haha. Although there was no stand out line, none stuck out negatively either. Just a nice, smooth, quick read

Certain · 12-16-2013, 01:07 AM

It's peculiar that people seem to think paragraph formatting is its own genre.

Nigma · 12-16-2013, 01:21 AM

Every one ive read in a long ass time have used the same sort of schemes/flow and they all usually sacrifice depth and conceptional value for crisp rhymes and neat imagery. Its essentially a genre of its own imo.

Wise Wiggles · 12-16-2013, 01:26 AM

I just saw a bum wipe his ass with a Picasso drawing.
I hate being awkward, off-putting.. "Call muhmuhmeEe".
It takes faking apologies. Lol, I just pace, making a zombie scream.
I'm naked. Planking. They follow me.
Showing kiddies how to play Jason on hallow's eve
(sry)srsly Painstakingly drama queen.
Gta, baking & Dramamine.
Good evening. Tasting the Bate's basement in the autumn breeze.
Moscato concussion. This fucking coffee's disgustingly smooth.
I'd be found if it wasn't for you.
Climb me down this exquisite blushing is blue.
Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting.
I look at it like more of recruitment but I'm Lord of Illusions.
Would you crawl through glass for my morbid amusement?
Where teh fuck did the corpse of the muse sprint?
Had it in the storage to use it. Fucking a, sorta confusing.
I could'a swore I just, you seen.
I left out the saw dust, perfume scheme.
Bu-dum-bump, a bum's toilet paper.
My lung's poison is air. A crumb of oil for flavor.
Then run it over, like later.. on we should do acid & shrooms,
dwindle our beings in the blackest lit room.
Rekindle, we're reading the intro to grieving.
Sixteen stories & that window's for leaving.

Vulgar · 12-23-2013, 07:18 PM

Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting.
I look at it like more of recruitment but I'm Lord of Illusions.
Would you crawl through glass for my morbid amusement?
Where teh fuck did the corpse of the muse sprint?
^lol

All quotables. I prefer the verse written in regular form. Sorry, paragraph-pixies.

big baby · 12-23-2013, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big baby

Paragraph format was reminiscing, and had a bit of the flare some are used to the netcees user. but this also had a flare of wise ways. Nothing really quotable, except the part where you mention what your friends are doing. I wish it did, though it didn't need any, and neither do many pieces. You lit up the dark side of the room with this. Continue on.

I don't think most could tell I might have been inebriated.

This was good, and paragraph format isn't a genre of it's own but you expel things you usually structure in a stanza piece. Not saying you deprecate a certain value of literary writing, but mainly you focus on a precedent. In stanza you have the luxury of creating a certain finale, so to say to end your line. Where as in paragraph. that line can be a stream of consciousness. Less confined than when you do so in stanzas. It's a different set of mind @Certain, not a different way of writing. And that is the difference. My paragraph writings can be formatted into stanzas as well. It's also different for the reader, just as easily. Where a stanza, and the moments your eyes surface across from the end, to the beginning of the next line. It can be crucial in how one processes a individual line or concept. ... or not.

The lines vulgar quoted were good. I can see slight improvements.

Wise Wiggles · 12-23-2013, 09:29 PM

I actually did not like this. I felt I had certain concepts I could of dove deeper into. This was just a quick mash up of some flex / keyed stuff. Might've been in the moment. Can not remember.

CopyPat · 12-24-2013, 02:45 AM

hello sir. i enjoyed as usual. the flow was cool and original, the content was pretty much the same from what u normally do. but i don't care thats fine with me, i just like reading ur flows. portland is stupid scheme was my fav. the beginning and middle seemed pretty honest, then at the end it kinda just tailed off a little. good to see u still posting

Angkor · 12-25-2013, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Good evening. Tasting the Bate's basement in the autumn breeze.

was that a Psycho reference? thought this was pretty ill flex or not. swaggish.

Wise Wiggles · 12-25-2013, 08:58 PM

Yeah. No one references the rotting corpse in their basement.
Still wack.

Angkor is a region of Cambodia that served as the seat of the Khmer Empire, which flourished from approximately the 9th to 15th centuries. The word Angkor is derived from the Sanskrit nagara, meaning "city". Wikipedia

dead man · 12-25-2013, 09:03 PM

This fucking coffee's disgustingly smooth. I'd be found if it wasn't for you. Climb me down this exquisite blushing is blue. Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting. I look at it like more of recruitment

My lung's poison is air.

idk these sections really picked up. you never really hit a stride but randomly accelerated

don't put yourself down bro you are special

Split · 12-26-2013, 01:39 AM

I'll be back

I know Cambodian people. theyre chill but not as chill as the indians who run Indian Basket in tjis one town. Lol its this supermarket across the street from Market Basket. they have the same font on their sign and everything.

Wise Wiggles · 12-26-2013, 02:25 AM

Mannnnnnnn it would suck to give up all eternity for that lovey dovey stuff and then she dies like witf

12-14-2013, 12:42 PM	#1
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	I just saw a bum wipe his ass with a Picasso drawing. I hate being awkward, off-putting.. "Call muhmuhmeEe". It takes faking apologies. Lol, I just pace, making a zombie scream. I'm naked. Planking. They follow me. Showing kiddies how to play Jason on hallow's eve (sry)srsly Painstakingly drama queen. Gta, baking & Dramamine. Good evening. Tasting the Bate's basement in the autumn breeze. Moscato concussion. This fucking coffee's disgustingly smooth. I'd be found if it wasn't for you. Climb me down this exquisite blushing is blue. Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting. I look at it like more of recruitment but I'm Lord of Illusions. Would you crawl through glass for my morbid amusement? Where teh fuck did the corpse of the muse sprint? Had it in the storage to use it. Fucking a, sorta confusing. I could'a swore I just, you seen. I left out the saw dust, perfume scheme. Bu-dum-bump, a bum's toilet paper. My lung's poison is air. A crumb of oil for flavor. Then run it over, like later.. on we should do acid & shrooms, dwindle our beings in the blackest lit room. Rekindle, we're reading the intro to grieving. Sixteen stories & that window's for leaving. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

12-14-2013, 05:31 PM	#2
big baby obsessed Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: fucka idiyote Posts: 5,709 Battle Record: Faggot-1 Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2 Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2 - was candidate for gerber baby 3x - smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote" - smush beer on head and didn't cry - parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once - when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan - won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a - neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper - set neighbor house on fire lmao - fuck neighbor husband and wife - first fish caught resembled david ortiz - colin kaepernick - related to genghis khan - elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club - never lost game of hide and seek Rep Power: 8599682	Paragraph format was reminiscing, and had a bit of the flare some are used to the netcees user. but this also had a flare of wise ways. Nothing really quotable, except the part where you mention what your friends are doing. I wish it did, though it didn't need any, and neither do many pieces. You lit up the dark side of the room with this. Continue on. Last edited by big baby; 12-23-2013 at 09:20 PM.

12-16-2013, 01:05 AM	#3
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,723 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595813	paragraph drops are usually entertaining for me. felt the first halfs rhyme scheme was the strong point in the verse but the whole verse kept my attention, short as it was. fun writing exercise but you can only say so much about it haha. Although there was no stand out line, none stuck out negatively either. Just a nice, smooth, quick read __________________

12-16-2013, 01:07 AM	#4
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	It's peculiar that people seem to think paragraph formatting is its own genre. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.

12-16-2013, 01:21 AM	#5
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,723 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595813	Every one ive read in a long ass time have used the same sort of schemes/flow and they all usually sacrifice depth and conceptional value for crisp rhymes and neat imagery. Its essentially a genre of its own imo. __________________

12-16-2013, 01:26 AM	#6
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	I just saw a bum wipe his ass with a Picasso drawing. I hate being awkward, off-putting.. "Call muhmuhmeEe". It takes faking apologies. Lol, I just pace, making a zombie scream. I'm naked. Planking. They follow me. Showing kiddies how to play Jason on hallow's eve (sry)srsly Painstakingly drama queen. Gta, baking & Dramamine. Good evening. Tasting the Bate's basement in the autumn breeze. Moscato concussion. This fucking coffee's disgustingly smooth. I'd be found if it wasn't for you. Climb me down this exquisite blushing is blue. Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting. I look at it like more of recruitment but I'm Lord of Illusions. Would you crawl through glass for my morbid amusement? Where teh fuck did the corpse of the muse sprint? Had it in the storage to use it. Fucking a, sorta confusing. I could'a swore I just, you seen. I left out the saw dust, perfume scheme. Bu-dum-bump, a bum's toilet paper. My lung's poison is air. A crumb of oil for flavor. Then run it over, like later.. on we should do acid & shrooms, dwindle our beings in the blackest lit room. Rekindle, we're reading the intro to grieving. Sixteen stories & that window's for leaving. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

12-23-2013, 07:18 PM	#7
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting. I look at it like more of recruitment but I'm Lord of Illusions. Would you crawl through glass for my morbid amusement? Where teh fuck did the corpse of the muse sprint? ^lol All quotables. I prefer the verse written in regular form. Sorry, paragraph-pixies.

12-23-2013, 09:29 PM	#9
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	I actually did not like this. I felt I had certain concepts I could of dove deeper into. This was just a quick mash up of some flex / keyed stuff. Might've been in the moment. Can not remember. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

12-24-2013, 02:45 AM	#10
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	hello sir. i enjoyed as usual. the flow was cool and original, the content was pretty much the same from what u normally do. but i don't care thats fine with me, i just like reading ur flows. portland is stupid scheme was my fav. the beginning and middle seemed pretty honest, then at the end it kinda just tailed off a little. good to see u still posting __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

12-25-2013, 08:58 PM	#12
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Yeah. No one references the rotting corpse in their basement. Still wack. Angkor is a region of Cambodia that served as the seat of the Khmer Empire, which flourished from approximately the 9th to 15th centuries. The word Angkor is derived from the Sanskrit nagara, meaning "city". Wikipedia __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" Last edited by Wise Wiggles; 12-25-2013 at 09:01 PM.

12-25-2013, 09:03 PM	#13
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	This fucking coffee's disgustingly smooth. I'd be found if it wasn't for you. Climb me down this exquisite blushing is blue. Portland is stupid. All my friends go snowboarding & shooting. I look at it like more of recruitment My lung's poison is air. idk these sections really picked up. you never really hit a stride but randomly accelerated don't put yourself down bro you are special __________________ Zack Wicks for president

12-26-2013, 01:39 AM	#14
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	I'll be back I know Cambodian people. theyre chill but not as chill as the indians who run Indian Basket in tjis one town. Lol its this supermarket across the street from Market Basket. they have the same font on their sign and everything. __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

12-26-2013, 02:25 AM	#15
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Mannnnnnnn it would suck to give up all eternity for that lovey dovey stuff and then she dies like witf __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"