12-13-2013, 01:57 AM | #1 |
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The Mass Murderers Killer Routine
“Arm circles!” - the instructor motioned with momentum in his arms
With a venomous snarl “Arm Circles!” He said - propelling his gelatin arms like a skeleton god, stretching, embalmed. Nike Wind-breaker jacket dispelling his sweat – as he yells, menacing, “Lard!” A fat pudgy character with a mellow soft face - comes closer – with a severing scar, He complains about his heart beat’s - irregular, regular, irregular; tremmoring, jarred. He clutches his chest; his flesh crawling with cholesterol, diabetic - high blood pressure, A face redder than mars. He tries to catch his breath but the cardiac has arrested him; He’s already in bars Federal state prison - arteries on lock down – apprehended by the cardiovascular disease and it's meddling guards. He’s in jail for killing 10 rival gang members - They look on through terror; bald headed and hard. Synchronized felons in a yard - Orange windmills “Arm circles!” The instructor motions with momentum in his arms - .. “Catch this medicine ball” he says hurling 25 pounds of leather - kettling the ball It hits a prisoner in the abdomen, tethered and worn; for good measure, dead in the core. It knocks him backwards. And his spirits flounder inside; all around him: unsettling force. Meant to absorb. 5 sets,10 reps of preacher curls and their spirits are cleansed:isometric rewards. - The mass murderer’s killer routine, his release from being depressed, The executioner spots him as he bangs out 90 years of stress on the guillotine bench He deadlifts his old self from out of his miseries cave and makes him deeply repent. Strongest prisoner in the world and he can’t even hang-clean his regret. .. You ever been working out somewhere and been convinced you are not alone? Something breathing down your neck? Chances are you have been on that rowing machine with an invisible demon, Barking instructions at you to go faster? .. That’s me in a sense - My name is Damien. And I believe in promoting positive self-esteem for the rest “I have a degree in personal training,” he bends the card – “I’m even the best.” He stomach vacuumed and face pulled, his obliques flexed, squeezing his pecs, A plank with a twist, into a prowler sprint, he leaped, possessed, Me? I rather exercise my demons instead
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Last edited by Frank; 12-13-2013 at 02:05 AM. |
12-13-2013, 02:14 AM | #2 |
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flames, flow on point, outstanding creativity on the topic, hang clean his regret ill, spit this
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12-13-2013, 10:41 AM | #3 |
nok Su kow
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Sick. Captivated me the whole way. Do you.
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
12-13-2013, 06:03 PM | #4 |
The COAT...
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This. The way you wove that introduction together was beautiful and artistic. Had dat elegance, some amazing work Frank. I could point out individual points of success but that would take a long time, I'll keep it shorter winded and say everything was done amazingly. This was a complete piece, one of my fav from you in recent memory especially because you do so much without writing the neverending story parts 1, 2, and 3.
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12-14-2013, 09:05 PM | #5 |
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Church.
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12-17-2013, 03:01 AM | #6 |
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3 dope writers chimed in on a nigga story. Any more dope writers out there?
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12-17-2013, 09:14 AM | #7 |
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pretty cool
some lines were stretched as fuck though to get to the odd rhymes at the end its too convoluted in parts needs more internals and what not to make it flow better i dug it tho
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12-17-2013, 03:37 PM | #8 |
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I was hooked the whole way through, it flowed well with me and it was a great read. Please keep posting my dude!
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RareBoyz
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12-17-2013, 08:28 PM | #9 |
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Lars is a fucking retard. This was ill, frank. Peeped in aowl I think?
Flow was on point all the way through. I hate stupid fucking responses
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12-18-2013, 08:03 AM | #10 |
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I wasn't gonna respond at all honestly. Just was popping in. But that lars comment about llong bars/bad flow was rediculous. Had to correct him.
See you round brohemian
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12-18-2013, 09:51 AM | #11 |
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lars was always pretty mediocre but some people like oats like him
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12-18-2013, 10:13 AM | #12 | |
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...a retard, how?
At least I bothered to read and respond unlike most of the forum. I could have been more indepth, but I was on the move at the time, just wanted to acknowledge Frank that I was still among the few reading. The lines in this ARE long to me, I wasn't being an asshole, take a look at that shit for yourselves: Quote:
I don't troll this side of the board, but I do keep it real. Call me what you like, but I'm my own man. NYC taking sideswipes when he one of my biggest fans from his younger days. I see you, pussy. Always the contender, never the champ when it comes to these leagues gots to be tough, huh? - 10x RSTL Champion
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12-18-2013, 11:49 AM | #13 |
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lol u mean when I would text battle on RW and everyone incl. u was wack af @ topicals...
o lawd da fuq is rstl lmao good shit bar fight champ |
12-18-2013, 11:51 AM | #14 |
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I was never at RW with you. Never read a single text battle from you or even heard that you do them, only ever known you ask a topical head from the dark ages.
HHC or w/e is where you know me from, you always call me by some other name that is nothing to do with me from way back like Kryptologikal or some bullshit screenname. My bar fight record is real as it gets, feel free to come ask someone in my city if they know where you could find me. You'll get a smack in the jaw before they even ask who's asking, outsider. Bet.
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PROVEN BITER Last edited by Lars; 12-18-2013 at 11:55 AM. |
12-18-2013, 11:52 AM | #15 |
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oh yeah the worst site I was ever on, i vaguely remember it
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12-18-2013, 01:32 PM | #16 |
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I sort of agree with him. Just because it doesnt flow as well (to him) doesn't mean he can't make that a point of argument. The stanzas were a bit long (not that I had a problem with that, I do that as well). Everybody's going to have a qualm about something, somewhere. I actually like several pieces but only give it a not so positive review to further sate my technical needs towards a verse. Sometimes it's a head nod to the writer. In this case, idk what Lars thought. But if he thought it was bad, so be it. On the other hand, if you think he's retarded, that's fine too, just show your work on the draft paper for extra credit.
No, but seriously. I sort of agree with Lars here. The message was pretty stellar, but it was too elongated and bland in some views. The writer has a grasp on writing though, clearly. That isn't at dispute at all here. Good job, everybody. (I didn't read it all, either) |
12-19-2013, 04:30 AM | #17 |
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On the real, I wasn't even being a dick towards you.
I saw you posted, I peeped, I responded. I was on the cell at the time so I kept is short. I didn't come in here disrespectful at all, I've known of you like 10+ years now. Come on. If I had any sort of ill feeling toward you, I'd have made it known. I came in to acknowledge I'd read it, not to put anyones nose out of joint. If you catch some sort of feeling from the words I posted. that's your own bad look out. Peace.
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12-22-2013, 04:35 AM | #18 |
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Nah, it's not like that. I bugged out on you legend, kid, just you posting in the first place in my thread had me charged up. It's good to see you.
One of the best - Baron Mynd
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