AOWL WK 3: Red Glare (1-0) VS. TYSON (0-1) [TYSON WINS, 6-0.]

King Ra. · 02-25-2013, 11:28 PM

16 lines minimum, 32 lines maximum.

Verses are due THURSDAY at 11:59 PST.

Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/1 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!

You MUST check in.

You must vote on 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

TOPIC: You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.

Good luck to both participants. @Red glare @TYSON

TYSON · 02-26-2013, 12:52 AM

I will show...

Red glare · 02-26-2013, 03:18 PM

Seen...

TYSON · 02-28-2013, 08:23 PM

the homeless man down the street

Born from the sperm and eggs of a couple, sex is a necessity
Abstinence proves longevity but brain vessels would rupture from the complexity
Turn on the tv and its accepted and pushed to the young and innocent
So common to the treachery this crescent breed is dumb in a sense
Some tend to hint, condoms are the protection we need but do we take haed
Naw, cause once that feeling of lust ignites hormones the grab action tend to leave
Unless its griping ass, tits and her head 'about face'
That lil soldier remembers that taste of adrenaline in the bed as hearts race
Can't act like I'm blind to the facts, shit I done fucked plenty
Its just this homeless man got me questioning my ways asking pedestrians to chuck pennies
I see him every day asking for change and food to help him get by
Some pass byers are rude spitting at dude until one day I asked why
And he replied as his eyes hit the sky "he couldn't give me no more chances"
See he done danced with the devil with her pretty long hair
Licked her legs to her panties and ran in that kitty all bare
Praised for it too, accustomed to being called player, "wats up pimp"
Now he's given up on life stuck in a crater of regret and sex makes his dick limp
He says " I've took the test and clymadia was all I had"
"So I figured i was safe with just busting these hoes and moving to the other
But it all turned bad my brother" and he stutters
" I found a bitch in dc thick in all the right places and she pulled my card all aces"
"Showed me a new way to get her off the third hole became an oasis"
"Saying she clean and I never thought twice ain't like she was a man"
Saddamy was no longer an anomaly so I tripled these bitches anytime I can"
"Years roll by and I'm feeling good as ever till I started coughing up blood"
"Went to check up on my health the doctor sat down with me saying sorry son"
My face blank no time for pranks man what's the problem?"
He whispers "its not the end of the world but u tested hiv positive'
And since then he grovels to society and surrender's his dignity
I look at him with a tear of emotional sympathy thinking god forgive my iniquity
I hear your plee to me that's it enough is enough....

Red glare · 03-01-2013, 01:46 AM

Just got home, am not making it by deadline...ext

TYSON · 03-01-2013, 01:47 AM

Cool

Red glare · 03-01-2013, 10:13 PM

You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.

yeah I'm drinking - and I'm going down loyal
Drowning in my turmoil and my cup of crown royal
40's ounces in my system and I found soil
Now I'm throwing up all over like brown oil
They call me Jagermeister - Mr half pinter
Ain't gonna crash your cypher....... Don't pass it to me neither
Don't designate my driver...... Cause Ima be alright...
Set my drink on fire........... Now who needs a light?
.....
....
..
...

Jack Daniels...............Jim bean.................
Samuel adams.........Yo that's my drinking team
You never hunted wild turkey drunk on wild turkey
Took a shot a wild turkey and took a shot of wild turkey
You never shot grey goose down at knobs creek
Took a shot of grey goose and downed a 5th of knobs creek
Yo that shit is an adrenaline rush...........
I don't drink rum and coke............. rum and pepsi's whatsup
Yeah so what if it ain't hennessy.... guarantee you by tommorrow you gone remember me
Now chase this easy jesus with a swill of some devil spring
Remy Martin - penitentiary
Remy Martin, she in my cabinet itinerary
Ordered alphabetically
by volume and efficiency
to fuck you up
Destruction in a cup.......
who wants the recipe?
Tanquery Courvoisier Belvedere
Nah I'm kidding......just orange juice and everclear
Colt 45 to all my homies lying down in the dirt with closed eyes
this old english is for old times...................
You my nigga..................and thats the truth.........
Cintron bond.............. ...............Absolute......
Your on board with captain morgan.......... Yeah I'm here in malibu.......
New drink........... captain morgan mixed with malibu.... ....
Jose Cuervo.....Palo Viejo.... I'm that dude.........
Brown bagging - toasting glasses full of passion fuel...
Southern comfort..................Now your home....
Gotta water fountain in my home that spouts patron!
Bacardi Limon.....Superior.......Barcardi Gold
Call 911.....
"1800 silver tequila.........."

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Please hang up, there appears to be a receiver off the hook. Please check your main telephone and extension. Then try your call again. Thank you. This is a recording."

Geno · 03-02-2013, 05:06 PM

Dope battle.

Tys.. you continue to elevate man. Glad u showed this week. Thought you killed your view on this topic. Dope verse all around and a solid story to match good mechanics.

Glare
You had a really cool take to. I thought your alchy concept held more weight than nigma thought tbh. Had some cool lines in there but just not enough to hold its own against tysons more powerful verse. Your creativity is appreciated but imo, the alcholic verses and lines can be really played and I think of lot of yyour verse fell into this caterggory. Unfortunately you were up against a very dope writer who just had a stronger approach with his verse and told a solid story.

Good show from both though. But I think tys had a pretty easy win this week.

V-tyson
I see you growing strong here though red.. try to be a little less predictable in your concept next week and I believe your gonna have a serious showing that could challenge any writer here. Your formula is nice.. but your idea for this verse was just a bit to easy and overused. Stay. Positive though.. you have talent

Nigma · 03-02-2013, 05:09 PM

Tyson, this was the best verse I can recall reading from you, good shit.

Red, you could have done something neat with alcohol in relation to the topic, but you didn't. That could have been a lot better.

Tyson wins the game

Camp Bell · 03-02-2013, 06:42 PM

crazy lol

good battle, tyson. great verse fam, at first i was a bit confused then as i read more
of it, i really liked the story. and it went well with the topic, perfectly on point. Red
iono, i kinda liked your verse but i thought it just didnt stand up against tysons drop

vote: tyson

Vinzr · 03-03-2013, 02:44 AM

Tyson - damn nicely written verse here man, top notch rhyme scheme and i definitely felt the approach you took with your piece. It was well executed and a nice take on the concept/topic.

Red - Ok, I appreciate your approach on this man but really I thought it didn't really do it for me. It was a good attempt but it didn't come across as that creative to me, and to put it straight i just wasn't feeling the structure and execution

Tyson gets my vote here for having a superior verse

v/ Tyson

Red glare · 03-03-2013, 06:23 PM

i was drunk as fuck when i wrote this can't even remember writing this....im recording this shit soon enough beliieve that....thanks for the great concept and good battle TYSON....

Frank · 03-04-2013, 07:49 PM

Tyson. Touching verse. Had a real story to tell.. I didn't think the correlation to the topic was that sturdy but none the less, it was a gripping tale and I appreciate the realness of it. Keep it 100. Keep at it.
Red glare. You got bars. Pun intended. This was different in terms of structure but needs work. You may have had the more interesting approach but your content wasn't as meaningful or articulate as your opponents. Keep at it.

Vote - Tyson

More powerful verse, better vocab & emotion

Split · 03-04-2013, 08:30 PM

Barakon u slippin b

lol nah i know you were hammered.

Red Glare's was cool but felt like a keystyle flex. not to take anything away. it had some dope twists on alcohol types etc etc etc dont sleep on dude

Tyson came with an excellent verse. elevating fast as fuck, now a threat I'd say. just dont no-show.

in fact, I really wanna see a rematch of these two when both are motivated

V/Tyson for a gripping story with dope imagery and solid mechanics (sounds generic but idk how else to summarize it without breaking it down which i wont do it the disservice of doing)

King Ra. · 03-04-2013, 08:45 PM

TYSON WINS, 6-0.

02-25-2013, 11:28 PM	#1
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	AOWL WK 3: Red Glare (1-0) VS. TYSON (0-1) [TYSON WINS, 6-0.] 16 lines minimum, 32 lines maximum. Verses are due THURSDAY at 11:59 PST. Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/1 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!! You MUST check in. You must vote on 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week. If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league. TOPIC: You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough. Good luck to both participants. @Red glare @TYSON

03-02-2013, 05:06 PM	#8
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Dope battle. Tys.. you continue to elevate man. Glad u showed this week. Thought you killed your view on this topic. Dope verse all around and a solid story to match good mechanics. Glare You had a really cool take to. I thought your alchy concept held more weight than nigma thought tbh. Had some cool lines in there but just not enough to hold its own against tysons more powerful verse. Your creativity is appreciated but imo, the alcholic verses and lines can be really played and I think of lot of yyour verse fell into this caterggory. Unfortunately you were up against a very dope writer who just had a stronger approach with his verse and told a solid story. Good show from both though. But I think tys had a pretty easy win this week. V-tyson I see you growing strong here though red.. try to be a little less predictable in your concept next week and I believe your gonna have a serious showing that could challenge any writer here. Your formula is nice.. but your idea for this verse was just a bit to easy and overused. Stay. Positive though.. you have talent __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

03-02-2013, 06:42 PM	#10
Camp Bell Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 733 Battle Record: 10-18 Rep Power: 0	crazy lol good battle, tyson. great verse fam, at first i was a bit confused then as i read more of it, i really liked the story. and it went well with the topic, perfectly on point. Red iono, i kinda liked your verse but i thought it just didnt stand up against tysons drop vote: tyson __________________ get high. write rhymes.

03-04-2013, 07:49 PM	#13
Frank Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,228 Champed - NWL Season 2 - Art of Writing League (5x) - Lime Green Poetry Association - AOWL Season 6 - AOWL Season 10 Rep Power: 3853347	Tyson. Touching verse. Had a real story to tell.. I didn't think the correlation to the topic was that sturdy but none the less, it was a gripping tale and I appreciate the realness of it. Keep it 100. Keep at it. Red glare. You got bars. Pun intended. This was different in terms of structure but needs work. You may have had the more interesting approach but your content wasn't as meaningful or articulate as your opponents. Keep at it. Vote - Tyson More powerful verse, better vocab & emotion __________________ *VETWORK*

03-04-2013, 08:30 PM	#14
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	Barakon u slippin b lol nah i know you were hammered. Red Glare's was cool but felt like a keystyle flex. not to take anything away. it had some dope twists on alcohol types etc etc etc dont sleep on dude Tyson came with an excellent verse. elevating fast as fuck, now a threat I'd say. just dont no-show. in fact, I really wanna see a rematch of these two when both are motivated V/Tyson for a gripping story with dope imagery and solid mechanics (sounds generic but idk how else to summarize it without breaking it down which i wont do it the disservice of doing) __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

02-26-2013, 12:52 AM	#2
TYSON IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,967 Battle Record: 10-15 Rep Power: 23089122	I will show...

02-26-2013, 03:18 PM	#3
Red glare Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 189 Battle Record: 7-9 Rep Power: 0	Seen...

02-28-2013, 08:23 PM	#4
TYSON IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,967 Battle Record: 10-15 Rep Power: 23089122	the homeless man down the street Born from the sperm and eggs of a couple, sex is a necessity Abstinence proves longevity but brain vessels would rupture from the complexity Turn on the tv and its accepted and pushed to the young and innocent So common to the treachery this crescent breed is dumb in a sense Some tend to hint, condoms are the protection we need but do we take haed Naw, cause once that feeling of lust ignites hormones the grab action tend to leave Unless its griping ass, tits and her head 'about face' That lil soldier remembers that taste of adrenaline in the bed as hearts race Can't act like I'm blind to the facts, shit I done fucked plenty Its just this homeless man got me questioning my ways asking pedestrians to chuck pennies I see him every day asking for change and food to help him get by Some pass byers are rude spitting at dude until one day I asked why And he replied as his eyes hit the sky "he couldn't give me no more chances" See he done danced with the devil with her pretty long hair Licked her legs to her panties and ran in that kitty all bare Praised for it too, accustomed to being called player, "wats up pimp" Now he's given up on life stuck in a crater of regret and sex makes his dick limp He says " I've took the test and clymadia was all I had" "So I figured i was safe with just busting these hoes and moving to the other But it all turned bad my brother" and he stutters " I found a bitch in dc thick in all the right places and she pulled my card all aces" "Showed me a new way to get her off the third hole became an oasis" "Saying she clean and I never thought twice ain't like she was a man" Saddamy was no longer an anomaly so I tripled these bitches anytime I can" "Years roll by and I'm feeling good as ever till I started coughing up blood" "Went to check up on my health the doctor sat down with me saying sorry son" My face blank no time for pranks man what's the problem?" He whispers "its not the end of the world but u tested hiv positive' And since then he grovels to society and surrender's his dignity I look at him with a tear of emotional sympathy thinking god forgive my iniquity I hear your plee to me that's it enough is enough....

03-01-2013, 01:46 AM	#5
Red glare Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 189 Battle Record: 7-9 Rep Power: 0	Just got home, am not making it by deadline...ext

03-01-2013, 01:47 AM	#6
TYSON IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,967 Battle Record: 10-15 Rep Power: 23089122	Cool

03-01-2013, 10:13 PM	#7
Red glare Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 189 Battle Record: 7-9 Rep Power: 0	You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough. yeah I'm drinking - and I'm going down loyal Drowning in my turmoil and my cup of crown royal 40's ounces in my system and I found soil Now I'm throwing up all over like brown oil They call me Jagermeister - Mr half pinter Ain't gonna crash your cypher....... Don't pass it to me neither Don't designate my driver...... Cause Ima be alright... Set my drink on fire........... Now who needs a light? ..... .... .. ... Jack Daniels...............Jim bean................. Samuel adams.........Yo that's my drinking team You never hunted wild turkey drunk on wild turkey Took a shot a wild turkey and took a shot of wild turkey You never shot grey goose down at knobs creek Took a shot of grey goose and downed a 5th of knobs creek Yo that shit is an adrenaline rush........... I don't drink rum and coke............. rum and pepsi's whatsup Yeah so what if it ain't hennessy.... guarantee you by tommorrow you gone remember me Now chase this easy jesus with a swill of some devil spring Remy Martin - penitentiary Remy Martin, she in my cabinet itinerary Ordered alphabetically by volume and efficiency to fuck you up Destruction in a cup....... who wants the recipe? Tanquery Courvoisier Belvedere Nah I'm kidding......just orange juice and everclear Colt 45 to all my homies lying down in the dirt with closed eyes this old english is for old times................... You my nigga..................and thats the truth......... Cintron bond.............. ...............Absolute...... Your on board with captain morgan.......... Yeah I'm here in malibu....... New drink........... captain morgan mixed with malibu.... .... Jose Cuervo.....Palo Viejo.... I'm that dude......... Brown bagging - toasting glasses full of passion fuel... Southern comfort..................Now your home.... Gotta water fountain in my home that spouts patron! Bacardi Limon.....Superior.......Barcardi Gold Call 911..... "1800 silver tequila.........." NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! "Please hang up, there appears to be a receiver off the hook. Please check your main telephone and extension. Then try your call again. Thank you. This is a recording."

03-02-2013, 05:09 PM	#9
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,723 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595813	Tyson, this was the best verse I can recall reading from you, good shit. Red, you could have done something neat with alcohol in relation to the topic, but you didn't. That could have been a lot better. Tyson wins the game

03-03-2013, 02:44 AM	#11
Vinzr Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 86 Battle Record: 5-5 Rep Power: 137478	Tyson - damn nicely written verse here man, top notch rhyme scheme and i definitely felt the approach you took with your piece. It was well executed and a nice take on the concept/topic. Red - Ok, I appreciate your approach on this man but really I thought it didn't really do it for me. It was a good attempt but it didn't come across as that creative to me, and to put it straight i just wasn't feeling the structure and execution Tyson gets my vote here for having a superior verse v/ Tyson

03-03-2013, 06:23 PM	#12
Red glare Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 189 Battle Record: 7-9 Rep Power: 0	i was drunk as fuck when i wrote this can't even remember writing this....im recording this shit soon enough beliieve that....thanks for the great concept and good battle TYSON....

03-04-2013, 08:45 PM	#15
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	TYSON WINS, 6-0.