Playoffs Round 1: No. 7 NYCSPITZ vs. No. 10 breathless - NYCSPITZ WINS 6-1

Mike Wrecka · 12-11-2013, 10:02 PM

dope battle fellas.

NYC - sick verse. the flow was incredible. the multis were next level. and kept going forever. I really liked the cadence of this verse, would have been sick on a beat. the vocab was very well used imo. the storytelling felt Frank like. which is a good thing. probably one of my favorite verses ive read from anyone this whole season. you turned it up a notch for the playoffs good shit.

breathless - you stepped it up big time here. you tackled the verse straight on. went storytelling mode which I have never seen you do. at times the flow was sick, it would like go off on a string where I was like damn, then kinda go less complex for a bit. back and forth. the story itself was good and interesting but you needed to focus more on the owner and her relationship. four or six lines devoted to that aspect of this story would have worked. you could have mentioned what dynamics their relationship had. but you left that out and it kinda feels like she is marrying some guy she barely knows. which is weird. and not what I think you intended. but overall very good verse. im proud.

overall= nyc had the complexity and structure that could not be matched here. he also brought a more complete story arc than breathless. good battle fellas thanks for the reads.

vote = nyc

12-11-2013, 10:02 PM	#8
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	dope battle fellas. NYC - sick verse. the flow was incredible. the multis were next level. and kept going forever. I really liked the cadence of this verse, would have been sick on a beat. the vocab was very well used imo. the storytelling felt Frank like. which is a good thing. probably one of my favorite verses ive read from anyone this whole season. you turned it up a notch for the playoffs good shit. breathless - you stepped it up big time here. you tackled the verse straight on. went storytelling mode which I have never seen you do. at times the flow was sick, it would like go off on a string where I was like damn, then kinda go less complex for a bit. back and forth. the story itself was good and interesting but you needed to focus more on the owner and her relationship. four or six lines devoted to that aspect of this story would have worked. you could have mentioned what dynamics their relationship had. but you left that out and it kinda feels like she is marrying some guy she barely knows. which is weird. and not what I think you intended. but overall very good verse. im proud. overall= nyc had the complexity and structure that could not be matched here. he also brought a more complete story arc than breathless. good battle fellas thanks for the reads. vote = nyc __________________ A.bove T.he R.est