Heaven?

[King Ra.]

Welcome to the site, nigga.

This was okay, I'll take it as like your prelude to more of your work as you continue to drop (that's if you continue to drop) so I'm not gonna beat you down here. I thought you had some cool ideas that could have made this very dope. It reads as if you just threw this together as your thoughts came and went. The flow was basic, some parts it missed. I'd say the scheme you used here would be fine if you were better with the content, other than that, you'd have to make it more interesting. The beginning I wasn't too fond of. It just seemed like you were just "rhyming"- throwing words together that don't really formulate an idea or image, but as I read on, you threw some cool stuff in there, like the "scripted on high/Jesus lit it" line, which was probably my favorite from the whole piece. That little "ox" wordplay a few lines before would have been dope if it was put together better, but I liked the attempt. All in all, I'll be looking to see what else you bring to the table. Feed other pieces, check them out and become good at what you do. Holler.