Week 9 - Mr. J (5-3) vs. NYCSPITZ (3-3) - NYCSPITZ WINS 8-0

Zen · 11-24-2013, 07:05 PM

NYC: First off, nice use of descriptive language. Seriously. It was very hard not to picture each and every scenario you wrote on from her abuse at school, to the drug use, everything was described perfectly. If I had to find a negative I'd say some lines were a little too stretched for my taste, but the story outshines any negatives. Props.

Mr. J: This was a great piece of writing no doubt, but I felt it was missing your signature flair that you usually apply to your verses. I felt that you were a bit rushed and maybe tried to beat NYC at his own game because this to me felt a little like a lesser version of nyc's drop. I would have much rather read a well crafted J verse, but hopefully you'll have more time come playoffs.

V/Nyc

11-24-2013, 07:05 PM	#1
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	NYC: First off, nice use of descriptive language. Seriously. It was very hard not to picture each and every scenario you wrote on from her abuse at school, to the drug use, everything was described perfectly. If I had to find a negative I'd say some lines were a little too stretched for my taste, but the story outshines any negatives. Props. Mr. J: This was a great piece of writing no doubt, but I felt it was missing your signature flair that you usually apply to your verses. I felt that you were a bit rushed and maybe tried to beat NYC at his own game because this to me felt a little like a lesser version of nyc's drop. I would have much rather read a well crafted J verse, but hopefully you'll have more time come playoffs. V/Nyc