Week 9 - Mr. J (5-3) vs. NYCSPITZ (3-3) - NYCSPITZ WINS 8-0

e11even · 11-23-2013, 05:13 AM

NYC- This was a gorgeous read. I loved the details dancing back and forth between the pic and your imagination. I felt who she was through your words, and that was awesome. What feel it lacked was a destination. A closing. A semblance of a resolution. It ended as, "and now she's just chillin there holding that rose..." That left me a little unsatisfied. I loved the buildup though. That means a lot.

Mr. J- IMO this was an exceptional piece. This came off like a pep talk/ motivational speech/ introspective reflection. I like how it ended, but the body was a little misleading. I looked back a little and I noticed how the ending tied a lot of your wording together, which was pretty cool. I see how this piece works alongside the pic, but I kinda wish there were more tangible points where this piece would feel like it was tailor-made for this battle. Cool verse, but the conviction wasn't strong enough for me.

Great battle guys. I'm glad I decided to vote early. I had time to concentrate lol. You both got personal on two completely different levels and wavelengths and you both worked some magic. However, both pieces had places I felt need more attention. For an overall stronger, more thorough showing I believe NYC takes this. I enjoyed you both (thats what she said!). MVGT NYC

11-23-2013, 05:13 AM	#1
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	NYC- This was a gorgeous read. I loved the details dancing back and forth between the pic and your imagination. I felt who she was through your words, and that was awesome. What feel it lacked was a destination. A closing. A semblance of a resolution. It ended as, "and now she's just chillin there holding that rose..." That left me a little unsatisfied. I loved the buildup though. That means a lot. Mr. J- IMO this was an exceptional piece. This came off like a pep talk/ motivational speech/ introspective reflection. I like how it ended, but the body was a little misleading. I looked back a little and I noticed how the ending tied a lot of your wording together, which was pretty cool. I see how this piece works alongside the pic, but I kinda wish there were more tangible points where this piece would feel like it was tailor-made for this battle. Cool verse, but the conviction wasn't strong enough for me. Great battle guys. I'm glad I decided to vote early. I had time to concentrate lol. You both got personal on two completely different levels and wavelengths and you both worked some magic. However, both pieces had places I felt need more attention. For an overall stronger, more thorough showing I believe NYC takes this. I enjoyed you both (thats what she said!). MVGT NYC __________________ Ahem.