Week 9 - Contender Match - Vividlyvague (6-2) vs. Vulgar (4-2) - VULGAR WINS 7-4

[timeless]

You may be able to walk upright, huddled in that troubled abyss
but keep in mind...underwater, that air of superiority doesn't exist
Describing how sadistic your niche is would require extensive lists of nouns
The cradle of humanity was actually kind of cute...we wish it drowned
The truth is, to understand, you have to take the forsaken plunge
to the depths of the Dark Ages, when the Red Sea was stained with blood

vs.

"...be something worth some eons of peons to see."
But some of us were too naive on the deeds one recieves...
Until an incident of damning proportions had a beed on our leads.
Knowing risk,consequence, and still resorting to devious things...
Relieved us of dreams for shackles to dutyasour Karma, it'd seem.
But let us digress, for the means to an end lie in the details between...

I thought this would be a dope battle with the photo given but I gotta say I'm disappointed, yet still enthused.

Vulgar, the story in your piece it seemed like you wrote it pretty loosely, with no thought as to where it would end up exactly. Maybe not, maybe you had the ending you displayed in mind, just didn't really lead up to it too well. I wasn't expecting a comedy out of this topic for some reason, so it threw me off a little. Not saying the end wasn't good but it just took me off guard. As for the whole general writing side to it, the flow was on point, as was the rhyme scheme and multis. The wording could've been better but it worked for the most part. Nothing too witty or eye-catching.
VividlyVague, I read it the first time, and kinda sat back like, "what?" Then I read vulgar's piece again, typed up critique for his verse, then read yours again and was like, "Word." Story was dope. What I took from the ending was a "don't fuck with earth" type of punch, but I may be wrong. I absolutely hate your style of writing. I couldn't of lost myself in the flow anymore than I did, but when I got it, It took hold. Lot of people vote against that, they don't really take a count of personal style.

Vote - VividlyVague