Aztec Lazer Tag (Vulg and oXus)

[dead man]

cause its pretty massive.

anyhow

it becomes clear quickly who's verse is who's. vulgar's style has a distinct type of referential usage - it's always diverse, ancient and just obscured enough to warrant a second glance. maybe even a google search or two. i'm reminded vaguely of brokenswordz and excal's old 'ancient' collaborate pieces - although this is obviously on a higher plane in terms of depth of content. its almost 2014, shit.

first, i'll pull a few quotables. why not

@Vulgar

just in case of sticky situations, wondering if Trojan Horses defecate

lol

Bulbasaurs etch their blades; a frozen borg rests in wait
Sulphur pours onto my forest-worn oak menorah breakfast plate
I order more and watch the soldiers gorge on yellow maize

craze. i can see it now.

i am putting your verses in order of the series in the title image. maybe my mind is playing tricks on me but it seems to work very well that way. i began to pick up images that seem like allusions to the correlative scenes from each of the four stanzas. like

overlords from the ocean floor

subterranean levels.

you're creating a battlecry type of atmosphere. egyptian warfare. i'm interested in how english follows up

eng -

or @oXus

let me begin by saying i think i certainly enjoy your introspective works more than your purely descriptive 'topical' stuff. it's your strong suit, the strength you've developed and it seemed here more-so like you were conforming to vulgar's aptitude for pure description and coming up a bit short in the process. here's what i liked:

bent and swayed to predicate the present state:
Learned martyrdom to avert a carnage of my people;

first line was dope little spitfire - second line was a gripping thought.

Knelt to kiss His Fordship’s ring… hesitant: I, briefly, meditated

low-key this is my favorite line in the entire piece. just finished up BNW a few weeks back. heard a lot of strange shit about Mr. Huxley since from a couple of people. need to start doing some research for myself. but yeah, this reference was one that really resonated with me and kept me hooked.

i mean, when it comes down to it, that's the kind of writing this demonstrated - descriptive, allusion-heavy material that does (or does not) encompass the spirit of the image it accompanies. reinforcing and extrapolating visual patterns, prejudice and story lines from what we only see on it's surface. you guys both accomplish this well, it's phenomenal from this standpoint as expected by anyone who saw this posted. it's immense. it contains that epic, adventurous vibration that you were going for. something many have attempted with sub-standard conceptual themes and failed in doing so.

for the record, although the previously quoted line was my favorite - the line that followed was highly disappointing. i'm not fond of the parenthetical device for this kind of work unless it's used in a way that feels necessary. this felt contrived and pseudo kitschy.

Serenading falcon-mortars bleed lead shrapnel: He designed these tactics,
a Balkan author has three left; Camels -- historically you’d find his match lit.

bliss. rhyming complexity. something you've always managed better than most. sometimes a bit obscured in the whirlwind but a few close read reveals all. (parentheses or does it? parentheses)

We're playing lazer tag with Indians & robbers in an arena built for civil dialogue
Quetzlcoatl's got a headcold, the Gilgamesh's are dying off
Grip your diadems, scrap the Tylenols

first line dragged a bit for my personal taste but the pattern was nuts. and the abstracted lens through which you see things sets the stage for truly signature writing. a style that belongs to you and you alone. i have always wished for you to take a more personalized, bare naked approach to writing. strip it down to it's basic form and write for self. maybe what i'm referring to is just not in your interest which is understandable it's just a thought.

here's a better way to put it. since this work clearly favored vulgar stylistically - if you guys ever were to write another collaborative work, reverse it. favor english's penance for reflective deep thought. views from parlor windows and 3am whiskey glasses. heirlooms and ascribed meanings. the world made personal.

tracing terrain in my antediluvian inflated boots

this was actually quite clever imo. the boots before the flood. people are always preparing for the wrath of god. maybe all we need is a better raincoat.

I had the view as Metztli coughed up a blackened moon
& the Crimson King lifts soul from body as if there’s Rapture due.

too solid.



all in all - you guys brought together some great descriptive writing. i noted that you changed the picture after posting the original - it was some sort of old wiseman in a decorative hat. thats about all i remember.

I'm hoping to read another installment sooner than later.

thanks guys.



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