Week 7 - symetrik (2-1) vs. ThisIsDam (0-0) - THISISDAM WINS 7-4

patrown · 11-10-2013, 11:20 PM

symetrik - good shit. the story was complete but you really were missing detail here. you basically tried to capitalize on a tough situation and draw emotion from it - but i didn't know enough about your character to truly be involved with the story or get any emotion from it. all i know is this guy definitely sleeps sometimes, had a daughter, had a divorce, doesn't take medication. well you know what? ig uess i do know a lot. i didn't really grasp this as a whole picture or feel much from it, only knew what was going on and how it ended. so i guess you told a decent story. it just lacked development.
thisisdam- wow. i haven't really read you before, although you remind me of someone from RM. completely developed story. you went through the whole scale of human worth. and that's something i have to respect. i like how you said you ate the seeds that grew, and said within days you were sprouting above the ground. almost as if with death, you gave birth to new life. but you really said it in a beautiful way. and i appreciate the piece in it's entirety.

/v dam - mechanics really made the decision for me... although this was a close battle, i felt like your story was more complete.

11-10-2013, 11:20 PM	#10
patrown ‹^›ô¿ô‹^› Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 596 Battle Record: 13-19 Rep Power: 0	symetrik - good shit. the story was complete but you really were missing detail here. you basically tried to capitalize on a tough situation and draw emotion from it - but i didn't know enough about your character to truly be involved with the story or get any emotion from it. all i know is this guy definitely sleeps sometimes, had a daughter, had a divorce, doesn't take medication. well you know what? ig uess i do know a lot. i didn't really grasp this as a whole picture or feel much from it, only knew what was going on and how it ended. so i guess you told a decent story. it just lacked development. thisisdam- wow. i haven't really read you before, although you remind me of someone from RM. completely developed story. you went through the whole scale of human worth. and that's something i have to respect. i like how you said you ate the seeds that grew, and said within days you were sprouting above the ground. almost as if with death, you gave birth to new life. but you really said it in a beautiful way. and i appreciate the piece in it's entirety. /v dam - mechanics really made the decision for me... although this was a close battle, i felt like your story was more complete.