Chain Letters til the Brain Severed

Mr. J · 10-30-2013, 08:11 PM

Beast from the darkness, made one of the easiest targets
far-fetched dreamer, seized at the end, upheaval as a project
diseased as a concept, but sought to put ease to the nonsense
they couldn't believe him, understand his need to "be", heartless
monsters in their own right, that's why they never fought their own fight
they struggle with death, and only expect the thought to blow by
exposed light and further data speculates they did it at their own price
it was showtime, the escape was efficient enough to dazzle those lies
truth was evident, evidence of danger is showcased...
express your feelings and your taste for adventure, the censors
the law pursued with their endeavors conquering lands for treasures
stealing from the simple minded and then using differential lectures
that spoke to the one with similar dialect but still seemed pressured
like surely he could link the words together and make them bow to his pleasure
sure enough, he did, and that's where the story started
they raided the next day tearing apart the graves of the dearly departed
opening up tombs and collecting what the presumed was the target
forgotten gems of society that carried curses from a time lost in...
immeasurable consequences...insurmountable accomplishments...
the ground shook and the earth took its toll as the body rose
and where they all ended up after that...only the godly know...
double barrel to the chest...let the shotty blow....same feeling
now let the pain creep in

Wise Wiggles · 10-30-2013, 08:22 PM

Nice. I was going to say something grand and spectacular about this crazy shit I just read but some fucking crack head hipster faggot is screaming right by me on the max if anyone wants a needle. Jesus Christ I'm bout to smash this fucks fohawk thru the window.. Anyways, the start was fire and my favvv. Insurmountable was a cool thing. Keep scribing.

Geno · 10-30-2013, 08:24 PM

Are you taking stabs at me? (O.o)

Geno · 10-30-2013, 08:25 PM

Oh, this was dope btw. You have a nice run and bit of admiration going for you rite now. I can dig it.

Mr. J · 10-30-2013, 10:48 PM

Nahhh bro
scrapped AOWL verse

Geno · 10-30-2013, 10:51 PM

Cool.
I was referring to your write week 3 verse. Not this one

But you said nahhh, ill accept it as you called it.
Good to know your true identity now, btw.
Glad your around still.

Mr. J · 10-30-2013, 11:18 PM

That was just a random blurt about being incognito when there's no people
calm down Geno...lets keep it peaceful :)

Mr. J · 11-01-2013, 02:36 PM

Jersey Shore

breathless · 11-01-2013, 04:35 PM

Nice, honestly, I couldn't pinpoint if you were talking about zombies, heroin addicts or Egyptian grave robbers, regardless though, the wording and flow was killer. Nice use of the soft o and I "ah" sounds verbal rhyming with the "ar" sounds. Definitely brought an audio effect to the writing, and the cadence was on point throughout, never had the typical "wait, how's this supposed to sound" question. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I read this in 5/x timing... It fit, at least for me, the whole way through

(1)exposed light and (2)further data (3)speculates they (4)did it at their (5)own price
it was (1)showtime, the (2)escape was (3)efficient enough to (4)dazzle those (5)lies

The way you slightly reversed the multi spots at the end of the lines here was real nice too. And transitioning the end rhyme to the beginning was really cohesive, shows true talent.

Great work J, keep that shit up

Mr. J · 11-03-2013, 09:07 PM

Kinda hard to determine for me right now
the thought trapped in my head at the time being was King Kong

Mr. J · 11-05-2013, 09:25 PM

Party hats for everyone

Zombie · 11-07-2013, 11:18 PM

Your adjectives should be sprinkled.

Mr. J · 11-11-2013, 12:25 AM

Fancy that

CopyPat · 11-11-2013, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. J

That was just a random blurt about being incognito when there's no people
calm down Geno...lets keep it peaceful :)

^best part

jk.

yeah this was way better. and then i read it was a scrapped tourney verse. all makes sense eh? when u sit and concentrate it turns out really good. by FAR one of the most cohesive and polished drops ive seen from u. smooth rhyming too. good shit buds

10-30-2013, 08:11 PM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Chain Letters til the Brain Severed Beast from the darkness, made one of the easiest targets far-fetched dreamer, seized at the end, upheaval as a project diseased as a concept, but sought to put ease to the nonsense they couldn't believe him, understand his need to "be", heartless monsters in their own right, that's why they never fought their own fight they struggle with death, and only expect the thought to blow by exposed light and further data speculates they did it at their own price it was showtime, the escape was efficient enough to dazzle those lies truth was evident, evidence of danger is showcased... express your feelings and your taste for adventure, the censors the law pursued with their endeavors conquering lands for treasures stealing from the simple minded and then using differential lectures that spoke to the one with similar dialect but still seemed pressured like surely he could link the words together and make them bow to his pleasure sure enough, he did, and that's where the story started they raided the next day tearing apart the graves of the dearly departed opening up tombs and collecting what the presumed was the target forgotten gems of society that carried curses from a time lost in... immeasurable consequences...insurmountable accomplishments... the ground shook and the earth took its toll as the body rose and where they all ended up after that...only the godly know... double barrel to the chest...let the shotty blow....same feeling now let the pain creep in __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

10-30-2013, 08:22 PM	#2
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Nice. I was going to say something grand and spectacular about this crazy shit I just read but some fucking crack head hipster faggot is screaming right by me on the max if anyone wants a needle. Jesus Christ I'm bout to smash this fucks fohawk thru the window.. Anyways, the start was fire and my favvv. Insurmountable was a cool thing. Keep scribing. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

10-30-2013, 08:24 PM	#3
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Are you taking stabs at me? (O.o) __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

10-30-2013, 08:25 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Oh, this was dope btw. You have a nice run and bit of admiration going for you rite now. I can dig it. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

10-30-2013, 10:48 PM	#5
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Nahhh bro scrapped AOWL verse __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

10-30-2013, 10:51 PM	#6
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Cool. I was referring to your write week 3 verse. Not this one But you said nahhh, ill accept it as you called it. Good to know your true identity now, btw. Glad your around still. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

10-30-2013, 11:18 PM	#7
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	That was just a random blurt about being incognito when there's no people calm down Geno...lets keep it peaceful :) __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-01-2013, 02:36 PM	#8
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Jersey Shore __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-01-2013, 04:35 PM	#9
breathless Master of Beastiality Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Lansing, Mi Posts: 368 Battle Record: 4-6 Rep Power: 0	Nice, honestly, I couldn't pinpoint if you were talking about zombies, heroin addicts or Egyptian grave robbers, regardless though, the wording and flow was killer. Nice use of the soft o and I "ah" sounds verbal rhyming with the "ar" sounds. Definitely brought an audio effect to the writing, and the cadence was on point throughout, never had the typical "wait, how's this supposed to sound" question. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I read this in 5/x timing... It fit, at least for me, the whole way through (1)exposed light and (2)further data (3)speculates they (4)did it at their (5)own price it was (1)showtime, the (2)escape was (3)efficient enough to (4)dazzle those (5)lies The way you slightly reversed the multi spots at the end of the lines here was real nice too. And transitioning the end rhyme to the beginning was really cohesive, shows true talent. Great work J, keep that shit up __________________ I used to be amazing... http://soundcloud.com/dancourser/sets

11-03-2013, 09:07 PM	#10
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Kinda hard to determine for me right now the thought trapped in my head at the time being was King Kong __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-05-2013, 09:25 PM	#11
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Party hats for everyone __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-07-2013, 11:18 PM	#12
Zombie Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 125 Battle Record: 5-0 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 2645340	Your adjectives should be sprinkled.

11-11-2013, 12:25 AM	#13
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Fancy that __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you