Week 7 - YDK (3-3) vs. Innovator (2-3) - INNOVATOR WINS 7-1

[Certain]

Season 2

Rules

Verse Due Date - Thursday 23:59 PST

Voting Deadline - Sunday 23:59 PST

Line Limits - 16 - 48 Max can be higher if both agree

Voting - Must vote on 3 battles and post voting links in this thread, preferably all in one post.

If you don't vote on 3 battle you will be given a loss. If you lose by votes and don't vote on other battles you receive a one week suspension.


Topic





Good Luck @YDK @Innovator

[Inno]

The breeze from the east, the clouds west of the sun
The tide crashing at peace. Time with no pendulum
A santum for us, wed swim until our arms went numb.
Your Skin glistened.
And we fornicated as sin wished it.
Two misfits persistent in each other reflection
Perceived love perfect under the waves positon
A current so insistent and a rip tide convincing
What do I do but drown in the moment
Coffe and donuts, pancakes you sold them
Honey brown, the maple was not necessary
We stroll the morning until the moon varied
Step by step saturated under the stars glare
Guided by the moons stare, an obvious pair
You and I dared take that leap hand in hand,
we swore wed shore along our bridge until we soared
Higher than tide but low enough to dip our fingers
Sleeping decembers, I remember those ember
That some how sparked beneath any depth
Inbetween any breath.
That summer was the best.
The red bow fit you well against the daylight
You where my addiction for a moment
Those pancake, man! You sold them.
This bride is useles now the creeks don't
Creak the same like when u where the stone.
Weighing the tension between staying afloat
And the winds thrust
Truth of course, it boast no agenda
I miss you Samantha.
The sun dull and I hate pancakes now.
You burned our bridge.
Proud.

[YDK]

Missing the musical cue locked in a cubicle zoo,
My release is smoking a blunt in front of a beautiful view.
Work related stress, depressed as my desk drawer bottom,
Reminiscent of better jobs,
but now I've gotten higher pay and stock options.
After all It's better for my family,
What's a little sanity for my daughters happiness
when I make a grand a week!?
It saddens me that now I believe money can buy love,
Look how I'm hugged when I see the price and don't bat an eye...ugh!
I can't stand the fact I sold my soul for a,
Nice house new clothes and an old Porsche!
What does it matter if my wife never sees me?
She has plenty of new "toys" to occupy her time believe me.
Fuck it my family don't need me.
Why go home when I just left that damn cubicle zoo,
I'd rather enjoy the serenity of a blunt and a beautiful view.
At least its free

[Mike Wrecka]

dope battle guys!

innovator - very nice verse. especially the first quarter of it

The breeze from the east, the clouds west of the sun
The tide crashing at peace. Time with no pendulum
A santum for us, wed swim until our arms went numb.
Your Skin glistened.
And we fornicated as sin wished it.
Two misfits persistent in each other reflection
Perceived love perfect under the waves positon
A current so insistent and a rip tide convincing


very ambient. really enjoyed this section. it went down hill in the middle but picked back up at the end.
the ending was kinda abrupt and didn't make me feel anything. which was disappointing. but overall it was a good verse

YDK - you wrote a real short verse. that may hurt you. what you did write was enjoyable. how you would rather just be sitting there on the shore with your girl looking out at the water. that's probably how you two started out. with nothing, no money no where to go but the shore and that view was free so you hung out there. now you have possesions but you long for those early days when things were simple and free and relaxing. I know that feeling. I live it. so this verse really hit home for me. the rhyming was good. the mechanics were good. needed some more inners maybe. thanks for the read.


overall - inno had the better mechanical verse, ydk had a more cohesive story. I think YDK wrote too short of a verse to get my vote. you had it man but just didn't have enough of it. good reads thanks guys


vote - Inno

[Geno]

Good shit.

Inno had the way more in depth view of this topic.
Ydk had the smooth flow and sort of slacked quite a bit concerning the topic imo

Inno,
Felt you captured this better with your content. But your technical side still needs quite a bit of work. Very bumpy in schemes.

Ydk, thought you would of had an easy win here and may have predicted you over inno, but you took the lazy route imho and it hurt you here. Mechanically stronger but conceptually absent.

I'm going with inno here for a better look into the topic. You got lucky though man. If ydk would have went in stronger he would have taken this easy

V/inno. Step it up a little bit mechanically. Your ideas are dope. Execution needs work, write more om's

[ThisisDAM]

Innovator. Not too bad. Felt poetic. Read nice. I didn't feel complete with the ending though. The picture wasn't much to be desired though. Ydk, something tells me you'd win this if you went longer. Shortness doesn't always mean loss, but I felt it hurt you here. The overall showing wasn't bad tho. Vote Inno barely though

[Adonis]

Inno, my wishfful thinkings is you taking shots at pancakebrah for some reason, cause I. Lol'd at at that shit.its "we're or we are", not where brother. Solid verse, read fairly mellow, I mean, somber almost. If I take. Out the few grammar errors, the verse is very solid as a read. I enjoyed it thoroughly my friend.

Sexy ass - depressed indeed. I'm going to assume this was literal, and all about ur life.. toucchingg. We all strugglle bruhv, but we don't do things because we have to, it becauuse we want to to better either ourselves or our families. I did like how you linked the. View to smoking a blunt because I do that shit, only we have these reefs of rocks that go prettyy far out and go toke on them cause less people then whharf or docks. Anywys, solid verse of emotion, flow decent, not sure of "love, ugh". Time pressed?? Pace was good, like I said, emotion drivin and you did that front well


All in all.. I got inno taking this simply for better use of topic. He. Incorporated the burnt bridge with the love and the sun rays. Good even battle.

[breathless]

Man, innovator, this was so terribly unpolished, even with an edit!? Wtf, you coulda smashed this, but it was a chore to read at times, but after figuring out the spelling errors and missing apostrophes, run on lines that you still capitalized at the beginning, etc, I did get a feel for it, but still, the pancake shit was so random and out of place it was off putting as hell... I am disappointed because I think I saw what this could have been, but it was just apparently slapped together

YDK - nice intimately personal piece here, now that I've been more active in chat, I understood everything, and it was awesome, cohesive flow, just enough elegant multis (cubicle zoo was a nice touch) all around solid, direct, and not really anything to interpret, the relation to the picture of unwinding on the boardwalk after work, work you worked for to provide the family that's being slightly alienated by the work... Real nice, especially being that short, you packed a lot in

Vote - YDK

[PancakeBrah]

This was okay. Innovator had some a nice rhythm to his piece. YDK as well. I thought Innovators ending was bit abrupt; for a piece so dependent on emotion I felt the end need a bit of fleshing out. YDK your verse felt a bit short. Innovator had some soul to his writing, YDK captured a fleeting emotional thought with a verse just as fleeting. I enjoyed both but I thought Innovator was slightly more cohesive and comprehensive in dealing with the emotional weight you both wrote about. Thanks for the read.

v/ Innovator

[patrown]

innovator - i reeeeally liked how you were rhyming here.
A santum for us, wed swim until our arms went numb.
Your Skin glistened.
And we fornicated as sin wished it.
Two misfits persistent in each other reflection
Perceived love perfect under the waves positon

A current so insistent and a rip tide convincing , skin to swim, wished it to misfit and reflection in part with perfect, position to insistent. it's unorthadox i guess but i thought it read rather fluidly and was more than a bonus in the beginning. great stuff. also in that section was including the way the wind was blowing and the location of the sun vs. the clouds. just shows great attention to detail worked into the piece, that i appreciate.but how it ended? what? pancakes? HUH? .... i mean, this all sounded really good. what about the pancakes, man? she was slanging rotten pancakes? they gave you the bubble guts or what?
idk. the end was a little bit iffy in my humble opinion. but overall it worked pretty well because you started so strong.

ydk - i understand your characters malady. sounds like this character is a little bit upset with his current situation and wants more out of life then just family. that much you did relate, farther then that.. i can't really say much. but that's a strong statement to have me relate to. perhaps he should take up chess, or racquetball. there must be something more to life than "this." however, your idea was rather undeveloped. you just fell short of a /v this week. a tad bit more would've got you it.

/v innovator - i was left wondering in both circumstances so i can't really vote based on the stories themselves. inno's strong imagery took the win this week imo. good battle though, close call.

[King Ra.]

This match up was very intriguing to say the least.

Vator, I am impressed with what you wrote this week. It's been awhile since I've peeped a verse from you and from what I read here, I can see you have definitely gotten better from last season, though you still carry that poor grammatical trait with you to this very day, but I won't pound you on that. I actually thought outside of those minor hiccups, you put together a very well thought out piece. You used the picture very well, and the details were very nice. Like another voter mentioned before me, the "pancake" thing was very random and that did sort of threw me off track. I noticed a slight transition from the deep descriptions in the beginning of your piece to a wild like finish with the pancake gist. I believe you did a good job overall though.

YDK, a very, very short piece that packed a bit of a punch. Just a bit. I'm a bit surprised you dropped such a short piece this week, maybe still reeling from the champ match outcome? While Vator had very good descriptions, your piece lacked that but I liked the tone you brought. It's obvious you wrote from possibly a personal experience? Either way, the flow of your verse brought that to life quite well, and the message was evident. I guess the only real knock I have is that it could have used more content possibly? symetrik dropped a short piece as well, but his drops are usually very, very deep despite the amount of words used. Yours wasn't as deep as his, and I'm not holding your story against his, just using it as an example, I feel you could have went in a bit more in depth.


It took me a few read throughs to make my decision, because while Vator did drop a much more content filled piece, his hiccups sort of had my head scratching, possibly a bit more than YDK's very short drop. I have to say what edged it for me is Vator's deep descriptions in the early part of his verse and his piece seemed to carry that momentum to the end despite the random pancake idea thrown in there. I feel YDK could have used a couple of lines more here to really bring it home but with what is present, Inno did enough to get my vote in the end. Good match up, though.


MVGT: Innovator. Good job by both competitors.