"Stone"

Lars · 10-30-2013, 07:32 AM

Take a concrete thought or idea
aim to spot the flaws that appear.
Before you adhere tools of the trade in
your engineering, view it with patience.
- Use your creative juices to crack it,
there's numerous ways if you just imagine!
Using a hammer could bring you results
but if you were to add just a chisel and sculpt
with unadulterated freedom of thought
& instinctive impulses leading the course
it could be so much more given time to perfect it.
- Clean up the corners and find a direction
File at each section that's rough at the edges
so its lines are connected & done to your credit.
Study your effort with critical eyes
looking intensely at which you've designed.
- Is it precise and holding your gaze
giving new life what you'd hoped to convey?
If no, strip away at the layers of debris
'til what solely remains the creation you dreamed.
As great an achievement as you could accomplish
a shape that's ideal and yet brutally honest.
A beautiful homage to original thought
remove what's unwanted and rid it of flaws.
Strip to the core of the subject in essence
exhibit it purely and cut the excesses.
So nothing is left but the principle premise
to sum up the rest and deliver your message.
See, in the possessive hands of an artist
this gift of expression comes natural regardless.
Whether tablet or parchment or what you prefer
it's how concrete concepts are turned into bodies of work.

Wise Wiggles · 10-30-2013, 09:15 AM

well done. couple slight hick ups but besides that a really flowing verse you posted. Reminds me of the track "how to be a carpenter".. keep at it and stay active..

Geno · 10-30-2013, 11:08 PM

This was cool
Like wise said, had some rouggh areas flow wise -ssuch as..

but if you were to add just a chisel and sculpt
with unadulterated freedom of thought

That was rough to read after smooth syllable plays and transitions that came before it

The content/concepts were cool. Not of the norm, nor was it particularly interesting imo.. which perhaps may only be my opinion... but never the less.

Keep posting, baron

Eŋg · 10-31-2013, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genocide

nor was it particularly interesting imo.. which perhaps may only be my opinion...

don't look back, i got your back, bro! i mean i share your view///

True wit is nature to advantage dressed:
What oft was thought, but never so well expressed

idk couplets bother me a bit. not even couplets, probably... not counting. it's like wow diversify.

concept was cool. writing was inanimate. ironic?! NOT rain on your wedding day. what a stupid bitch she was. basically: your writ felt like it was trying to be didactic, but belonging to a teacher i wouldn't willingly listen to//doodle stuff on my palm when they spoke.

10-30-2013, 07:32 AM	#1
Lars PROVEN BITER Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Wolverhampton Posts: 1,588 Battle Record: 5-0 Champed - The Winter Topical Rep Power: 1809295	"Stone" Take a concrete thought or idea aim to spot the flaws that appear. Before you adhere tools of the trade in your engineering, view it with patience. - Use your creative juices to crack it, there's numerous ways if you just imagine! Using a hammer could bring you results but if you were to add just a chisel and sculpt with unadulterated freedom of thought & instinctive impulses leading the course it could be so much more given time to perfect it. - Clean up the corners and find a direction File at each section that's rough at the edges so its lines are connected & done to your credit. Study your effort with critical eyes looking intensely at which you've designed. - Is it precise and holding your gaze giving new life what you'd hoped to convey? If no, strip away at the layers of debris 'til what solely remains the creation you dreamed. As great an achievement as you could accomplish a shape that's ideal and yet brutally honest. A beautiful homage to original thought remove what's unwanted and rid it of flaws. Strip to the core of the subject in essence exhibit it purely and cut the excesses. So nothing is left but the principle premise to sum up the rest and deliver your message. See, in the possessive hands of an artist this gift of expression comes natural regardless. Whether tablet or parchment or what you prefer it's how concrete concepts are turned into bodies of work. __________________ PROVEN BITER

10-30-2013, 09:15 AM	#2
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,507 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788019	well done. couple slight hick ups but besides that a really flowing verse you posted. Reminds me of the track "how to be a carpenter".. keep at it and stay active.. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

10-30-2013, 11:08 PM	#3
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	This was cool Like wise said, had some rouggh areas flow wise -ssuch as.. but if you were to add just a chisel and sculpt with unadulterated freedom of thought That was rough to read after smooth syllable plays and transitions that came before it The content/concepts were cool. Not of the norm, nor was it particularly interesting imo.. which perhaps may only be my opinion... but never the less. Keep posting, baron __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*