liquid flow scheme. built for audio.

[Dove Dozer]

I dont expect any feed on this since its not dictionary based writing with a convoluted subject. But its whatever, i know how this place rolls. If you feel this holler. Simple and plain.

Just flexing the syllable count and schemes.


".. everything i spit's cursed, verse like a chainsaw
Comin from the chest hurts cause the pain's raw.
It's what you came for, crime scene business,
Pen game, insane rhyme scheme switches.
My brain gets stainless beats to shoot with
Mixed and looped with truth to produce this
Fluid movement over grooves that are too slick
I let loose the loose leaf bruce lee in this music.."

[Mr. J]

Needs more words
multis on tracks are hard for most
depends on voice and delivery
smooth work regardless
the transitions work well
keep it up

[Dove Dozer]

Thx mr j.

I get that. More words etc. But this works very well for audio as is. Ill post the song when complete

[veritas]

the last line seemed slightly off broham....

[e11even]

please post the beat. I was rocking with this. too bad it was just an excerpt. I should start posting my audios. my flows are very multi syllabic... they tend to outshine my homies' features lol. Good shit though. drop the finished version when you get a chance.

[Dove Dozer]

Originally Posted by Mr. J

Needs more words
multis on tracks are hard for most
depends on voice and delivery
smooth work regardless
the transitions work well
keep it up

I didnt mean to sound rude. If you meant more words in the way of longer multies, i thought about it, but i liked how this flow kinda bounces with the shorter lil groups of multies. But i feel you. I appreciate the feedback. Thanks

[Certain]

Originally Posted by Dove Dozer

I dont expect any feed on this since its not dictionary based writing with a convoluted subject. But its whatever, i know how this place rolls. If you feel this holler. Simple and plain.

For the record, CopyPat writes in a similar style and consistently gets feedback. You come across as a whiny bitch by writing this before your verse. Why bother posting if that's how you feel?

You did your part, giving a few people feedback before posting your verse. Most members here seem to return the favor most of the time. Quit projecting your insecurities.

The verse was OK.

[Dove Dozer]

@Certain thanks for critique on my opening statement. Ill work on that lol

I was having a bad day. My bad.

[King Ra.]

no good!, what's good? I believe Mr. J if I'm correct, is referring to the lack of content- this is an extremely short drop. It's very difficult for people to really give you some quality feedback if there isn't too much to critique. It would have been better if you posted a full verse at least then ask for feedback, because whenever you do post the full thing, people may not bother giving you feed or you won't get much. Just a note.

Aside from that, this definitely could work for audio, especially if delivered well. I liked the Bruce Lee line. When you do put a whole piece together, I would suggest adding more of those kinda lines to really make the verse stand out when you record. The more content you drop within, the better. I'll be on the lookout.

[Dove Dozer]

Thanks for that keith. I appreciate the hindsight. I thought about that after posting. When i post the final, itll just be audio. No text