Week 5 - Split Eight (0-1) vs. Genocide (0-1) - SPLIT EIGHT WINS 11-1

[symetrik]

Lucifer:
fave lines:

and found out who he was cause he studied himself
Until suddenly hell doesn't feel like a punishment now
He has the blues all the time, but he loves to be down
In touch with the sounds and figured out the gift and the curse

not sure how the story connects to having a record label, and the fact that he "finds himself" by realizing he's a jerk is off-putting in comparison to the opening (where you feel bad for him), though I suppose if that's the emotional transfer you're looking for you got it.
all in all, some rhymes seemed forced (and placed there just because they rhymed), story was confusing, and ending didn't connect.


Split Eight:
really great use of words that connected with the image (I'm assuming you kept the color sort of icy), favorite lines:

Caught up fast over scatter-brained grey matter reserves,
the growing pains college days can have on your nerves…

the whole thing gave a good read and story line, good flow, and good connection at the ending to both the topic and to the ways previous stanzas ended.

vote: Split Eight