Week 4 - King Ra (1-1) vs. Zenland (1-2) - ZENLAND WINS 6-5

[breathless]

Vote - Zen

This was really really hard to pick actually, Zen had the style and ra had the story, so it came down to who took the topic better and had the least shartings....

Highpoints...
Zen
I loathe the lies of those seldom prepared
That control minds with tales that scare;
The sinner's at fault, but the devil's everywhere."
He closed his eyes yet I still felt his stare.
The old man died as he exhaled the air

The way you slightly split some multies was superb, adding to the genuine dialogue feel as well, and many may say, oh seldom doesn't rhyme with tales and those don't rhyme with devil and still felt... I see what you did hear, here... And then the "o and I" 1st standard multis, fucking great, tony the tigered that shit

Ra
It's hidden history (or not)- an ancient story of old.
Since the beginning of time, when many nations arose.
If you read between the lines all the lies will unfold,
the Truth will start to shine even if others oppose

Good solid flow and rhymes, flipflopping ancient story/many nations was nicely done. But, the highpoint of this was because I was growing tired of the Egyptian mythology history lesson and this was a pleasant segue into where the piece was going


Lowpoints
Zen
The ending, I dunno, it just sorta culminated into nothing spectacular, like watching a souffle deflate, I got the connection to the love chest breathing through/sun vanishing, but I dunno, the soldiers seemed out to come out of nowhere in an awkward way, uhhh may have missed an allusion though...

We crawled from the oasis that provided us shade
And stepped into the violent rays of the sun's silent gaze.

You fucked the flow up in the second line...

"Student this is the worst time of day
To move, you must wait and listen to what I'm trying to say

Wait, no you didn't...

Before my mind decays."

Fucker

I dunno what you did there, but, you did all the wrong things in the right way, this is a good thing, but it made me mad


Ra
The whole beginning... Just wasn't feeling it much, went on too long, too many names and it wasn't down with enough lyrical gusto

The salvation of mankind: the Sun rising above the horizon.
The Cosmic Lion, fiery mane vibrant, every man's soul ignited.

Killed it

Consciousness heightened, exuberant triumph like when the
Sun dies on the Cross.

This is lined wrong or something...
Shoulda been
Consciousness heightened, exuberant triumph like when
the Sun dies on the Cross.

Whatevs tho...


It's a universal concept that was once known but is now literally taught. S'why the whole world is in zombie phase because the inner-G's lost.

Whoa now, did you have a fucking stroke? This is honestly what lost it for you, for me, here

But the awakenings fought, minds enlightened when infinity's sought.
Think of all the bloodshed that religious beliefs wrought,
when all the loves dead from the vicious deceit brought.

Then that, although good visual rhymes, it just doesn't sound right and actually comes off phonetically like a single syllable scheme, you got your dactyls and trochees backwards or something

Like the ascension of Christ who understood the absolute truth when all thought it was said done.

And that sealed the loss