Week 4 - patrown (2-1) vs. Mr. J (2-1) - MR. J WINS 5-0

Split · 10-20-2013, 12:50 AM

liked both, bonestly. sorry if this is vague vote, smoked a bag of stress weed and feel dead exhausted, ill edit in more feed tomorrow or make it up to you in future feed

Mr. j.
lyrical. liked the tone the best, thought you did a good job of using personification to give wind a personality in a sense. almost in a japanese folklore sort of way idk, i feel so dead write now that im just appreciating ur verse's simplicity and striaght-forwardness. like reading a Nujabes beat on waterproof paper, half submerged in a freshwater lake you visited in the 6th grade with your best friends, as the moon goes up on a mellow autumn night as the vermont leaves fall onto the water without splashing.

patrown.

really good meter. great pace. short and sweet. you mvoed the story along while adding descirption, real seamless .y ou are a good storyteller. didntxlike verse length or angle on tooic

v/ mr j

10-20-2013, 12:50 AM	#9
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	liked both, bonestly. sorry if this is vague vote, smoked a bag of stress weed and feel dead exhausted, ill edit in more feed tomorrow or make it up to you in future feed Mr. j. lyrical. liked the tone the best, thought you did a good job of using personification to give wind a personality in a sense. almost in a japanese folklore sort of way idk, i feel so dead write now that im just appreciating ur verse's simplicity and striaght-forwardness. like reading a Nujabes beat on waterproof paper, half submerged in a freshwater lake you visited in the 6th grade with your best friends, as the moon goes up on a mellow autumn night as the vermont leaves fall onto the water without splashing. patrown. really good meter. great pace. short and sweet. you mvoed the story along while adding descirption, real seamless .y ou are a good storyteller. didntxlike verse length or angle on tooic v/ mr j __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com Last edited by Split; 10-20-2013 at 03:28 AM.