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10-17-2013, 11:45 PM
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ghost in the matrix
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Covington, KY
Posts: 4,563
Battle Record: 14-25
Champed - Art of Writing League (x2)
- Lime Green Poetry Association
Rep Power: 8181113   |
Honestly I've never read a cashious verse before but I honestly liked it. The whole story was kinda generic but it did have a story and half decent character development. There weren't many multies but the flow was still smooth enough but overall the last few lines really put I all together an left me with an enjoyable ending to a kinda plain Jane verse. Not bad overall tho bro.
bags rocket nigga nigga man, I wasn't impressed bro, really you beat me in the story telling semi finals with an awesome verse, but that talent did not shine here in my eyes. You took a unique take on the topic an had a lot of multies but...that was about it. The structure was all over which I don't mind as long as it flows...which it did...but it all was really just rhyming words with a minimal relevancy to anything else I gotta vote for cashius on this for the more coherent verse. vote cash
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