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#4 |
Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,461
Battle Record: 8-16
Rep Power: 84181562 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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And which maps away across the paths in the brain And I master the waves and crack the chains as sparks flew, And I chart my cruise through the passageways And I start anew but my hearts confused, Earthly gains, Is it a worthy game?
^^^ That was just great representation of the piece as a whole. You have a very unique structure that is fun to read alongwith. Also, i love the interpretation you leave up to the reader. There were some points where you started a line with the same word, like as. You should find a way to diversify the way you begin lines. Break up the monotony. Overall, good piece, I'll be looking out for other drops.
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BIRDHORSE 8-15 |
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