The superstar is broken.

Fig · 10-14-2013, 01:17 AM

Lol, this was mad dope certain. Very focused and convincing, in that this didn't just feel like a story about D rose. This is what I imagine him to be feeling at that stage of his life. I'm all for zany concepts and this one would be hard to do without making it sound corny, for anyone else that is. That knees bend as far as their minds line mightve edged on the sappy side but, I'm just nitpicking. The quotes were implemented quite nicely and also distinguished your piece from the way a regular OM drop reads. The first and last quotes worked best, the middle were kinda eh in terms of the tone of the piece. It was like, what you wrote had way more emotion than what he had to say about it at that particular moment.

Anywho, cool piece bro, I'm really fuckin enjoying it

10-14-2013, 01:17 AM	#12
Fig Om Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 6,461 Battle Record: 8-16 Rep Power: 84181562	Lol, this was mad dope certain. Very focused and convincing, in that this didn't just feel like a story about D rose. This is what I imagine him to be feeling at that stage of his life. I'm all for zany concepts and this one would be hard to do without making it sound corny, for anyone else that is. That knees bend as far as their minds line mightve edged on the sappy side but, I'm just nitpicking. The quotes were implemented quite nicely and also distinguished your piece from the way a regular OM drop reads. The first and last quotes worked best, the middle were kinda eh in terms of the tone of the piece. It was like, what you wrote had way more emotion than what he had to say about it at that particular moment. Anywho, cool piece bro, I'm really fuckin enjoying it __________________ BIRDHORSE 8-15