Meltankos Memoirs

zygote · 02-15-2013, 11:08 PM

Writing matches the picture. Only criticism is if the character was a Russian it could have used more Russian language. E.g., word like "diapers" and "grassy knoll" are kind of U.S.A. words. But when you used language like "Siberian winter" and "venison" it was more believable. Personally, more communist undertones like "motherland" etc. (because of heavy patriotism) would be good to see. But these only small criticisms. Highlight was the dead of winter - head was bigger - bend the trigger - very good double line. Overall, the story was good enjoyed especially the scene setting and vivid descriptions of the landscape (it contrast with the beige picture) it was like you colored in the picture with your writing.

02-15-2013, 11:08 PM	#2
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	Writing matches the picture. Only criticism is if the character was a Russian it could have used more Russian language. E.g., word like "diapers" and "grassy knoll" are kind of U.S.A. words. But when you used language like "Siberian winter" and "venison" it was more believable. Personally, more communist undertones like "motherland" etc. (because of heavy patriotism) would be good to see. But these only small criticisms. Highlight was the dead of winter - head was bigger - bend the trigger - very good double line. Overall, the story was good enjoyed especially the scene setting and vivid descriptions of the landscape (it contrast with the beige picture) it was like you colored in the picture with your writing.