Week 2 - Vulgar (1-0) vs. NYCSPITZ (1-0) - VULGAR WINS 7-5

King Ra. · 10-06-2013, 11:32 PM

I saved this one for last because it was BOTW, imo. Such a great match up early in the season between two heavyweights.

NYC, out of every writer I've read during my short time doing topicals, no one has such a clean & precise flow than you do, hands down. You just have this way of putting words together so fluidly and this is why I feel you're one of the best in the league. This piece was a great example. The I loved the vibe from this in the beginning, the repetition of the opening stanza at the end was cool and between that a very touching story between a man and a tree, and the POV of that tree was very unique and fresh take. You did great here. The ending was real controversial as stated before, that caught me by surprise but it added some fire to the vibe you had set. I have two knocks with this piece though: that part with Sam holding his chest & the KKK entourage closing him in and stuff, that really came out of nowhere especially with how everything was before that part. There was no link that I could connect that would give reason to why that happened, it feels like a very spontaneous thing happening so fast. The other knock is that the story doesn't resonate much with the topic, and I noticed that, too. If I am missing something, you did a hell of a job disguising it, but really, there is no connection to it. Aside from those two aspects, very excellent work.

Vulgar, this was a very new approach to me, as I have never really read any piece you written that had this much conversation in it, so this really peaked my interest. Diving in, I must say I came away impressed with how you were able to make all the conversating work between your main character & God. The story in itself was done very well, I wouldn't say on the level as some of your really good pieces are, but it was solid nonetheless. The ending was pretty cool. Very unexpected and unlike NYC's it wasn't random but very surprising. I loved that twist. As for the knocks, your piece wasn't as clean as NYC's, was a bit choppy here and there, and a few times I felt some lines could have been worded better. The Abe repeats didn't really bother me too much, though that could have been worked around better, but not really that big of a deal to me. All in all, great job here with this fresh spin.

These were two very well-written pieces and I feel both of you really flexed your writing muscles here. There is one factor here that decides it for me though. I feel NYC's piece, top to bottom, would earn him my vote hands down, despite that random change at the end of his story, but I also feel that he did not really touch on the topic given as Vulgar did and that alone is why I have to go with V, with a solid story and touching on the topic more than his opponent.

MVGT: Vulgar. Good job by both competitors.

10-06-2013, 11:32 PM	#15
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	I saved this one for last because it was BOTW, imo. Such a great match up early in the season between two heavyweights. *NYC, out of every writer I've read during my short time doing topicals, no one has such a clean & precise flow than you do, hands down. You just have this way of putting words together so fluidly and this is why I feel you're one of the best in the league. This piece was a great example. The I loved the vibe from this in the beginning, the repetition of the opening stanza at the end was cool and between that a very touching story between a man and a tree, and the POV of that tree was very unique and fresh take. You did great here. The ending was real controversial as stated before, that caught me by surprise but it added some fire to the vibe you had set. I have two knocks with this piece though: that part with Sam holding his chest & the KKK entourage closing him in and stuff, that really came out of nowhere especially with how everything was before that part. There was no link that I could connect that would give reason to why that happened, it feels like a very spontaneous thing happening so fast. The other knock is that the story doesn't resonate much with the topic, and I noticed that, too. If I am missing something, you did a hell of a job disguising it, but really, there is no connection to it. Aside from those two aspects, very excellent work. Vulgar, this was a very new approach to me, as I have never really read any piece you written that had this much conversation in it, so this really peaked my interest. Diving in, I must say I came away impressed with how you were able to make all the conversating work between your main character & God. The story in itself was done very well, I wouldn't say on the level as some of your really good pieces are, but it was solid nonetheless. The ending was pretty cool. Very unexpected and unlike NYC's it wasn't random but very surprising. I loved that twist. As for the knocks, your piece wasn't as clean as NYC's, was a bit choppy here and there, and a few times I felt some lines could have been worded better. The Abe repeats didn't really bother me too much, though that could have been worked around better, but not really that big of a deal to me. All in all, great job here with this fresh spin. These were two very well-written pieces and I feel both of you really flexed your writing muscles here. There is one factor here that decides it for me though. I feel NYC's piece, top to bottom, would earn him my vote hands down, despite that random change at the end of his story, but I also feel that he did not really touch on the topic given as Vulgar did and that alone is why I have to go with V, with a solid story and touching on the topic more than his opponent. MVGT: Vulgar.* Good job by both competitors.