Week 1 - Rawn MD vs. Zenland - RAWN MD WINS 6-4

Vulgar · 09-28-2013, 12:38 PM

Zenland - Rhythmically, this was dope. Topically, I thought it went along those same lines but there wasn't a definitive approach I can say you went with. The story wasn't really cohesive - it was more of a chaotic blur with moments of illustration.

Til it quakes and slides and breaks and widens
To form lakes and islands that create the horizon
^That part was absolutely bananas.

Rawn MD - Lol, this was cool. I liked the spin on the topic. Idenity theft is an interesting interpretation for sure. The verse was okay to me. Your wording in parts definitely needs some work. The rhyming was stellar though, just unorganized in a few instances that really made the difference between winning and losing. Zen topped yours in terms of enjoyment. Concept-wise, I'd say you both were evenly matched.

Vote - Zenland

09-28-2013, 12:38 PM	#1
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Zenland - Rhythmically, this was dope. Topically, I thought it went along those same lines but there wasn't a definitive approach I can say you went with. The story wasn't really cohesive - it was more of a chaotic blur with moments of illustration. Til it quakes and slides and breaks and widens To form lakes and islands that create the horizon ^That part was absolutely bananas. Rawn MD - Lol, this was cool. I liked the spin on the topic. Idenity theft is an interesting interpretation for sure. The verse was okay to me. Your wording in parts definitely needs some work. The rhyming was stellar though, just unorganized in a few instances that really made the difference between winning and losing. Zen topped yours in terms of enjoyment. Concept-wise, I'd say you both were evenly matched. Vote - Zenland