Week 1 - YDK vs. Scripter - YDK WINS 8-2

[Aesthetic]

YDK:

I wanted a family, maybe a dog; a faithful wife and a son,
I needed a father growing up
so my whole life I've dreamed to BE one!

Powerful man, I honestly felt like this should of been the opener.

Everything I've built with these hands of mine,
Will be washed away in the sands of time.

I loved the closer; everything about your vocabulary I enjoyed and was a great read let alone how sad it was. I only felt like it was missing an actually story or direction it was just going down and down until it reached a conclusion of more sadness, pretty much saw it comming after the first half.

No climax, no real focal points; wish it was longer had more ups and downs rather just downs.



Scripter:

I am but just a grain fortified by integrity
a correspondent to the waves of Fibonacci melody

You just blew my mind with the Fibonacci melody; not a lot of people precollege or even graduates know what that is and how important the golden # is.

a lightning strike in short stride of transparency
I finally know my place

Very subtle but noticable on a second look; I loved this style and word choice.

heard through the conch shell's echo of gull calls
until the sound asleep

I really didn't like this until I picked up on the imagery, and I would stay away from lines like this unless your doing this the entire verse. Which you kind of been doing but not really setting up a scene as much as you were envisioning the words yourself; I feel anyways.

and hurricanes renew and change paths

This should have been the closer.


merciful humor only seen through the eye in thee


This shouldn't have been in the song by itself, next time bar it with something like uh beautiful; seeing how it's a deep outlook.


V/Script

Overall came as a better read with a better direction and more uh insightful metaphors. Yo I hate to be the one to say this, but people vote based on historical skill rather then what they bring to the table that day; honestly some gay shit and I dont wanna delve into it deeper but thats what I have been noticing pattern wise, people always vote for the same people unless it's the finals. Maybe it's an artistic preference thing which is word but I mean shit, nobody will ever improve if they get beat by someone because they have more fans.

You won this hands down.

Both of you brought lyrics, well played.