BULLFIGHTING CHILDHOOD STORY: LIPOGRAM E

Certain · 09-10-2013, 02:09 AM

You chose the most common letter in the English language to exclude from your verse and still told a complete, viable story. That's pretty impressive.

Ignoring the constraint, I thought there was too much exposition and not enough imagery. The actual killing of the bull should have been described with more vivid and emotional context, rather than the removed description used. The diction was too simplistic. Obviously, the constraint led to that, but it's still worth noting.

09-10-2013, 02:09 AM	#2
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	You chose the most common letter in the English language to exclude from your verse and still told a complete, viable story. That's pretty impressive. Ignoring the constraint, I thought there was too much exposition and not enough imagery. The actual killing of the bull should have been described with more vivid and emotional context, rather than the removed description used. The diction was too simplistic. Obviously, the constraint led to that, but it's still worth noting. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.