Self-Centricity, in stages

Coup · 09-08-2013, 08:42 PM

my demons are dollars. endorsements, checking at Chase

and

there's not a sedative high that can compare to success
not a failure that can measure up to marital stress
sometimes what's truly beautiful is fairly depressed

the poor are rich in faith to see true beauty, otherwise it's ugly at the top.

sharp voice in this, good pacing with the narration, using I's and and's to bring it back to the character letting the reader know it's his "confession" and we able to listen and ponder...great pacing....the content could have been more unified...what happened to the dude ya shared a cig with ? he was interesting as you told us something about him through yourself..then he was not mentioned again...just a passing thought.

good drop

(trust that you do not want to smile about being the devils "embrace", believe that)

09-08-2013, 08:42 PM	#3
Coup Don't believe the hype Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 572 Battle Record: 4-5 Rep Power: 0	my demons are dollars. endorsements, checking at Chase and there's not a sedative high that can compare to success not a failure that can measure up to marital stress sometimes what's truly beautiful is fairly depressed the poor are rich in faith to see true beauty, otherwise it's ugly at the top. sharp voice in this, good pacing with the narration, using I's and and's to bring it back to the character letting the reader know it's his "confession" and we able to listen and ponder...great pacing....the content could have been more unified...what happened to the dude ya shared a cig with ? he was interesting as you told us something about him through yourself..then he was not mentioned again...just a passing thought. good drop (trust that you do not want to smile about being the devils "embrace", believe that)