Cold Fusion

Split · 08-31-2013, 11:53 AM

opened.

It’s Mortal Combat in the Garden of Eden… hoe,
You try to tell these kids but they don’t hear you though,
I am totally brain washed now you can’t save me no,
I followed the white rabbit down through the dark whole
I already saw Saw 4 and you already knew that so,
Buffalo Bill me, or get a sense of horror, I love that shady show,
Vampire diary, not demons in their entirety,
But they’d rip someone’s head off when their blood counts low,

I thought those lines were coolest in the drop. You have a really decent flow and rhyme scheme, except your format kinda covers it up a bit

One thing that I realized was some of this felt forced cause of your accent

Unleash hell/ freestyle/ leave stale, all are pronounced differently when I read them

Some sections I didnt like. Second to last one.

But you are doing you, as Vulgar would say. Keep it up, stay active.

08-31-2013, 11:53 AM	#2
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	opened. It’s Mortal Combat in the Garden of Eden… hoe, You try to tell these kids but they don’t hear you though, I am totally brain washed now you can’t save me no, I followed the white rabbit down through the dark whole I already saw Saw 4 and you already knew that so, Buffalo Bill me, or get a sense of horror, I love that shady show, Vampire diary, not demons in their entirety, But they’d rip someone’s head off when their blood counts low, I thought those lines were coolest in the drop. You have a really decent flow and rhyme scheme, except your format kinda covers it up a bit One thing that I realized was some of this felt forced cause of your accent Unleash hell/ freestyle/ leave stale, all are pronounced differently when I read them Some sections I didnt like. Second to last one. But you are doing you, as Vulgar would say. Keep it up, stay active. __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com Last edited by Split; 08-31-2013 at 12:41 PM.