Cymb - alright there was enough shock value to keep me intrigued...and flow wise it read clean and fast paced, however my problem lies with ur story telling...u jump all over...tenses u go from past to present to future and then u speak from her perspective than urs with no clear distinction...story was okay i guess, nothing gr8 just kept me intrigued bc of entertainment value.
Untold - Your story was better and more well rounded then ur opponents, u had designated characters and followed a sequence of events. I wasn't to crazy on the scheming or wordchoice but thats whatever at this point. You came from a much better aspect of storytelling.
V/untold
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08-07-2013, 11:47 PM
Hybrid Mode
