Round 2: Cymbi vs. Untold {Untold wins}

[Certain]

CymbiCort: That was interesting. I'm glad that you incorporated an actual story into the verse, though it wasn't until the very end. Mostly this verse was little more than perverted sex imagery, which is fun sometimes. I wish it had been a little wittier, to show more of a sense of humor. Your rhymes were fine but occasionally placed at awkward spots. That gave the verse a bit of a start-and-stop feel. And while I again am glad you did bother to incorporate a plot into the end, it didn't actually go anywhere. I wouldn't call this a humor verse because there wasn't anything clever. It was more just raw perversion.

Untold: Your verse also was more of a character sketch, but it was contextualized through a story to make it work. I liked the ending a lot. I think you built to it well with the second verse. Your main character was established well. It would have been nice to put him in more action. With that said, you had a lot of exposition. Your storytelling was direct, which is fine, but it didn't necessarily make sense with your concept of the inner thoughts of a man about to receive his one-year chip. I think that might have been a mistake. You could have left the qualifiers of "My thoughts" and "Speaker" off, put the speaker's words in italics and we would have figured it out. Still, this was a good verse.

Vote: Untold