"A Topical About Topicals" - Lars, Objective & Flo Real

[Lars]

What does it take to gain your fickle respect? I’ve chopped and I’ve changed what I’ve written. I’ve spent innocuous days lost in dismay plotting away with the ink in my pen. Just when I think that I’ve met your insurmountable standard, there’s always something that’s said that has me doubting it. Answer me. What is it you’re looking for? A verse with mechanics, or simplicity? Good old stories of personal anguish? Do you prefer to be challenged, given something to think about, or have predetermined analogies to sum up what’s written down? I’m stuck. I can’t figure out what it is that you need. Excuse my belligerence, people, but I’ve tried every trick up my sleeve…

I mount and I heave..
Each page represents progression, sessions and hours wasted,
I hate to admit that sometimes feedback feels like sour hatred.
The writtens are dominated, agitated to reveal constipated lyrics,
It's apparent I'm fathering shit, but it's not related to adopted critics.
These cynics diminish my attempts as I replenish a writers ammunition,
a conidition where you envision lyrical superstition with a snipers precision.
Doubting concepts and visions; ''these bars is forming a prison of projects,''
Architects of words swore to fulfill designs only to form a line of objects.
To be honest.. How I can harvest confidence when I tried my hardest?
Chained to change but I restrain my range and connect to darkness.
A black hole of thoughts obliterate the skill to set it straight when I'm full of rage,
my will to write will never fade, but this curse is tied to an evil plague.
Let the Flo' demonstrate the rod and fear of elitist neglection;

I sweat blood and tears when I deliver all you bigamists perfection
Then get high on bongs and beers an sliver away to deal with your rejection
Your speculation on my peices is nothing but pinickity attempts of subjurgation
A violation of the perfection that should be hoffin - prickly vets take 2 new skill with suffocation
coughin - as i sit here smokin constant, contemplating what yall want from this drop
do you want wordplay, simple concepts or artistic visuals like those melting clocks
I can give you persistence of memory - honestly i can give you Salvador Dalí
But when I do I want the feedback to match not ones opinon that all you sheep rally
around and pretend like the echo your creating is actually your own unique sound
I just went to great lengths to provide art most you can do is tear my peice to the ground
or did i astound but dont just copy two lines that you found and say this is my favourite
fuck i hate it - that aggrivates me - make your opinons seperate - one like an one slating it

[Flow]

Going off how fast that was wrote I'm pretty damn impressed - props @Objective @Lars

[Vulgar]

Cool stuff fellas. Some interesting circulation was expressed here in relation to topical writing. From what I understand this was done quickly which is always enjoyable to do: write with a quick pace and see what comes out on the page - usually an indicator of where your current skill set is at, and what you are thinking at the time and moment. All three were good reads. Decent collabo.

[Flow]

Feed....

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=7227

[Flow]

bump

[veritas]

not bad guys. Props at the speed as that is how I like to write.


pretty impressed that three people could touch a topic (about topics lol) and still have a homonegenous feel to it.

[CopyPat]

hahahha this was so dope. the irony is the lack of feed u got on this hahah shit.

loved this fella's suuuuuuuuuuuuper original and yeah saying exactly what we all think so props

[Lars]

muchos appreciados amigos!

[Geno]

This was dope

All y'all did your things like shit. Lars killed that paragraph shit though. Ill verse

Good showing by objective and flo real also. Up

[Terror wrist]

FIRST OFF the editing is bad...couldn't differentiate between the verses.i thought they all belonged to lars and was expecting to see what ya colleagues wrote until i saw the feeds.

But you know what?, My not being able to differentiate the verses goes to prove that you three blended in so well i didn't notice there was a transition!!!

Flow was cool, and from the feeds i saw, seems like yall quickly scribbled this down. So......i would omit criticising yall spelling errors, but you guys might try proof reading next time so as not to mislead your reader about the particular choice of words. Everyone make mistakes too.
Some of mine are that my thoughts are faster than my fingers making me miss some words when typing thinking i have them typed already.(lol) "repetition" and misplacement of letters like someone did^

Originally Posted by Lars

Each page represents progression, sessions and hours wasted,
I hate to admit that sometimes feedback feels like sour hatred.

#word

Originally Posted by Lars

But when I do I want the feedback to match not ones opinon that all you sheep rally
around and pretend like the echo your creating is actually your own unique sound.

#Thoughtful and poetic!

Originally Posted by Lars

most you can do is tear my peice to the ground
or did i astound but dont just copy two lines that you found and say this is my favourite.

My Favourite:D hehehe...


ALL IN ALL nice combination of pro skills. Thought provoking(thats for anyone that wants to read btw the lines.) Dunno if i can come up with this kind of ish in few mins.

#thumbs up!!!

[Flow]

Props on the feed - was surprised this was dug up again.

The order of verses @Terror wrist was

Lars
Objective
Me