Week 2 - Innovator vs Split Eight - SPLIT EIGHT WINS

08-02-2013, 01:50 AM

Split - LOL, well im glad that if anyone got this topic u did tbh. Anyways, yeah ur character's disorder was obvious from the get go to me. Now im not sure if it was me, or ur intention (due to topic,) with ur wordchoice and placement, but i felt it to be semi-hit or miss, but mostly hit. Sometimes the scheming seemed a little odd (but i followed the rhyme bleed,) along with the rhyming (Eeyore/alone for rhyming and ledge grab seemed colloquially weird to me.) However the abstractness of your verse (whether intentional or not) worked with the topic, and it was enjoyable.

Innovator - Your verse read cleaner then splits, but u also took a more direct approach in my eyes. I felt that the highlight of ur verse seemed to start with lost in space to the channel changing/phone confusion. I wish you would have addressed these symptoms in more detail, but i feel it kinda fell short there. Moreover, I wish u would have built ur character up in greater detail. The verse was not bad, but with a topic like this I feel a more off the wall approach would have actually been beneficial, bc symptomatically thats kinda what the disorder is.

Vote - Split

08-02-2013, 01:50 AM	#7
Rawn M.D. Guest Posts: n/a	Split - LOL, well im glad that if anyone got this topic u did tbh. Anyways, yeah ur character's disorder was obvious from the get go to me. Now im not sure if it was me, or ur intention (due to topic,) with ur wordchoice and placement, but i felt it to be semi-hit or miss, but mostly hit. Sometimes the scheming seemed a little odd (but i followed the rhyme bleed,) along with the rhyming (Eeyore/alone for rhyming and ledge grab seemed colloquially weird to me.) However the abstractness of your verse (whether intentional or not) worked with the topic, and it was enjoyable. Innovator - Your verse read cleaner then splits, but u also took a more direct approach in my eyes. I felt that the highlight of ur verse seemed to start with lost in space to the channel changing/phone confusion. I wish you would have addressed these symptoms in more detail, but i feel it kinda fell short there. Moreover, I wish u would have built ur character up in greater detail. The verse was not bad, but with a topic like this I feel a more off the wall approach would have actually been beneficial, bc symptomatically thats kinda what the disorder is. Vote - Split