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Old 07-27-2013, 05:17 PM   #2
PancakeBrah
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I'll be direct, the first four lines are lost on me. Seems metaphoric, since the rest of the piece works in that direction. The humbling clown throws me off. Are you just saying you've been humbled, and the 'humbling clown' is just a lyrical device to say that in a more creative way? IT'S A RIDDLE WRAPPED WITHIN A JOINT INSIDE OF A WORMHOLE COMPOSED OF ASTROGLIDE.

Anyway,

"Pour the porridge into three bowls of different size,
and watch as the pretty blonde robs these bitches blind.

If you did survive the grits and grime, you'd probably look at God in a vivid light.
But I haven't had shit to fight.
I'll gather a spliff and write about madness that visits nights
and weekends. My sleep ends when I get home from work.
Bemoaned, I turn over in bed, but stone-sober I fled to cold-shoulder events.
I'm thrown over the edge by vicious bitches. Alone at church,
this apartment is my only perch.

And I've got to hang my hat somewhere."

That's strong writing, Mr. Serpent. Seems like, at least this portion, is about modern existentialism. In particular, 'if you survive the grits and grim, you probably look at God in a vivid light' and the subsequent 2 1/2 lines thereafter. I remember an episode of The Sopranos wherein Tony grills Dr. Melfi for the fact that American society has turned into a bunch of bitches, complaining about emotions and feelings whereas there are people in the world who can't survive for basic needs. I think that run of lines is in the same vein. You're disenfranchised and perhaps a bit depressed because there's no truly overt struggle, one that would instill in you a respect for religion and it's purported benefits. A bit jaded, a more pragmatic turn for you instead. Just ground yourself in the escapism of marijuana. The 'my sleep ends' idea also runs parallel with the existential quandary. Lack of purpose, and the soul-sucking aspects of workaday life. Trying to find worth in work is lost, just an extension of sleep. The three little bears metaphor is bold because I thought it kicked ass in terms of wording. I'm not sure of a deeper meaning although I'm sure there is one. It'd be only guess work, maybe a feeling of alienation from females. Divorce or something. Again, I don't have it pinned down. "I've got to hang my hat somewhere" is a perfect ending if I've interpreted the piece correctly so far. Joyless, perfunctory (I've used that word twice today! Yay for me).

Cool drop.
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