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07-20-2013, 09:22 PM
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Don't believe the hype
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
Battle Record: 4-5
Rep Power: 0   |
lot's of different things going on by reason of the metaphors used...swimming with sharks, scarf a mountain, spit an island...that was nice...lost the tie in to the opening Roulette bet set up as you went in, .....at the end i see you created a broad picture
I say lost because you opened with " I rushed into Roulette..." then you abandoned the first person for some more figurative narrative subjectively... i feel this is missing a few things...can decide what...imho good drop |
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